This Vicious Cycle
by ficklewriter
Summary: There is the saying 'What goes around, comes back around' and Addison and Derek's lives have become proof of that. Lies, revenge, betrayal and infidelity had replaced memories of what was once a perfect marriage. Summary continued in chapter one. Addek.
1. Chapter 1

I know this is like a season too late but I really wanted to write a post prom Addek fic to purge all of my anger with McBastard. And given the constant and not to mention most recent disrespect for the 11 year Shepherd marriage, I needed an outlet.

This is my first foray in angst writing so please bear with me.

**THIS VICIOUS CYCLE**

Summary: There is the saying 'What goes around, comes back around' and Addison and Derek's lives have become proof of that. Lies, revenge, betrayal and infidelity had replaced memories of what was once a perfect marriage. Will the threat of losing each other permanently make them rekindle what they have and break the devastating cycle or had all the hurt and deception become too much to bear?

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy is not mine. No infringement intended.

CHAPTER ONE

'I need to get away' was all Addison could think about as she made her way down to the parking lot after the disaster of the silly prom thing. She couldn't believe how this night turned into this… heartbreak.

After Izzie's declaration and subsequent exit, Addison was about to ask Derek if he was ready to go home when she noticed the looks shared between him, Meredith and Finn. Right there and then, she understood what was happening. She wasn't born yesterday and she definitely wasn't going to stand for it. So, with what's remaining of her dignity in tact, Addison left the threesome alone but not before getting Derek's attention and sending him a look that clearly said, 'You fucking bastard.'

Addison was almost at her car when it dawned to her that Derek drove earlier that evening and thus had the keys. She cursed aloud and gathered her skirt, determined to leave one way or another. She decided to go back to the hospital's main entrance to get a cab when a voice stopped her cold in her tracks.

"Addison!" Derek shouted.

"Leave me alone, Derek"

"Addison, wait… let me…"

"Let you what. Derek? Let you explain? Fine, go ahead." She angrily cut him off, finally turning to face him.

"I…I…"

"Thought so. Only you, Derek. Only you can hurt me this much." Addison's tears finally made its way down her cheeks. "Leave me the hell alone. Don't talk to me, don't even look at me."

"Addison, please…."

"Shut up." She doesn't really want to be near him. She really needed to leave. "Give me the keys, Derek."

"No, let me… drive you."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. Give me the keys."

"No."

Not really in the mood to play games or delay her exit, Addison stepped forward and shoved her hands into Derek's pockets for the car keys. Pulling out her hands, she got what she needed and some more. Addison clutched the keys on her right hand and on the other she grasped black lace panties.

They both stood frozen, Derek with shame and guilt on his face and Addison with disbelief in hers. Earlier, she knew in her gut that her husband did something, especially with his flushed face and eyes unable to meet hers. Holding on to the physical evidence of that gut feeling was like a horrible punch in the face.

"You sanctimonious bastard!" she spat at Derek, throwing the panties at his face before storming off to the car.

Derek just stood there and watched her drive away.

** x x x**

Derek felt like the biggest scum on earth. He was sitting in the locker room, replaying the past hours of the night. He was truly a bastard. He couldn't believe he slept with Meredith while his wife was just a few yards away and then later on silently asked the intern to choose him over Finn. Who does this kind of crap?

The worst part, he decided was that with all those things happening, Derek still didn't know who he really want to be with: Meredith or Addison. He truly fucked up and didn't know what to do next.

Derek's thought drifted back to the confrontation with Addison. His chest ached just thinking about the hurt and devastation he saw on her face when she pulled out the panties. Remembering the look on her face, Derek realized what was truly the worst part of the whole evening: apologizing to Addison never even entered his mind.

** x x x **

"Goddamnit! Stop crying! He's not worth it!" Addison shouted, slamming her hands at the steering wheel, tears were still flowing freely down her cheeks.

Stopped at an intersection in downtown Seattle, Addison thought about what her next steps would be. Her marriage was over. And it happened on a night she was really looking forward to spending with her husband. The fact that he asked her to be his date with her Derek's smile gave her hope that everything between them would be fixed. Then this happened. She was truly an idiot. Derek didn't love her anymore. If only Addison could stop loving him, then this whole thing would be easier.

Addison decided that her brain would make her heart listen and stop loving Derek Shepherd. He had hurt her so many times and tonight it ends. Beginning tomorrow, Addison would remove everything Derek related out of her life. First on the agenda: calling up her lawyers to draw divorce papers. It's time to sign DNR papers on her marriage.

Addison wiped away her tears and fished out her mobile phone. She needed to talk to someone. She needed to talk to Savvy and she didn't really care that it's nearly 4:30am in New York. Addison knew Savvy wouldn't mind, after all she promised to call for details on her date with Derek at the prom and Savvy was her best friend. Addison needed her best friend.

Savvy's phone was already ringing when the car behind Addison's honked signaling that the traffic light had turned green. Addison shut her phone off. Her call to Savvy would have to wait until she settled herself in a hotel. Raising a hand to apologize at the driver behind her, Addison got her car in gear and started to drive on.

Nobody saw the car speeding on the other lane until it was too late and slammed into Addison's left side.

** x x x **

The ER at Seattle Grace was pretty calm and the resident on call was bored out of her mind. Dr. Susan Austin would give anything to retain the calmness until the end of her shift but since she was only halfway through, things were expected to change. And change it did when the doors to the ambulance bay opened.

"What have you got?" asked Dr. Austin to the paramedics.

"Unidentified female driver, mid to late 30's, side collision by a drunk driver. She was wearing a seatbelt but there is chest and abdominal trauma, multiple lacerations, BP is 80/55. Pulse in the low 60's. Hooked her up with saline on site. Been unresponsive since she was pulled out." The paramedic rattled on.

"Ok. Clear Trauma 2." The doctor said as they wheeled the victim towards the room.

"On my count… 1, 2, 3. Okay… CBC, chem. 7. I need a portable c-spine, chest and pelvis plus abdominal CT." Dr. Austin ordered. She then checked the victim's face and when she had brushed off the hair and wiped some of the blood, recognition came over her. Dr. Austin knew the victim. The young doctor even had the chance to work with this brilliant woman.

"Somebody please page the Chief of Surgery. Stat." she ordered frantically.

"The Chief is not on call tonight" said a trauma nurse.

"I don't care. Just page him. Now. Believe me, he'd want to be here" She paused then added gravely, "It's Addison Shepherd."


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you all for the reviews. Special thanks go out to my FF girls. You guys rock! And of course to Suz who's my awesome beta-reader and dirty Addek twin. _

_Here's an early Easter present to all._

_Read and please review. Your reviews make me write faster. ;)_

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are still not mine. No infringement intended.

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

Richard was rudely awakened by the sound of his pager. He just fell in a restless sleep after the commotion of his niece's prom and Stevens' resignation. He would seriously kill or at least fire whoever paged him.

"This is Webber." He said when his call to the hospital was answered.

"Chief Webber, we need you at the ER immediately."

"I'm not on call so please page some other surgical attending."

"There has been an accident, sir. Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd is in Trauma 2 right now."

"What?! I'll be right there and please get Dr. Miranda Bailey at the hospital also." He ordered and quickly got ready to rush back to the hospital.

**x x x **

"Chief Webber!" Dr. Austin exclaimed when she saw Richard coming in.

"Where is she? Give me the bullet."

"I'm Dr. Austin, ER resident on call. Dr. Shepherd is on her way to OR 1 with Dr. Bailey. There is chest and abdominal trauma. Multiple face and arm lacerations and a possible ruptured spleen. Lavage is positive. She also has a dislocated left shoulder and a hairline fracture on her right ankle. She's been unconscious since the accident but initial tests don't show any severe head trauma."

"Okay. How about the other Dr. Shepherd? How is he doing?"

"Sir?" a confused Dr. Austin asked.

"Derek Shepherd, the husband. Wasn't he in the accident too?"

"No, sir. Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd was the only one in the car."

"Oh." a somewhat relieved but puzzled Richard said. "Find and notify Dr. Shepherd but don't let him near the OR."

**x x x **

Derek was going out of his mind. He was sitting at the visitors' lounge waiting for news on Addison's operation. It was past 3 hours since the surgical team started and he hadn't heard a word from anyone. He was silently crying, worried about Addison's condition. Derek really wanted to go in there and do something or hold her hand or at least see how she's doing. But Richard was adamant in keeping him out even posting someone at the door to prevent Derek from coming in.

Three hours ago, Derek was leaving the hospital, burdened with guilt and feeling utterly lost. He planned on calling Addison to try to talk and apologize when a nurse from the surgical floor stopped him and told him about the accident. He immediately ran back to the hospital, not bothering to wait for the elevators. He felt the coldness throughout his body when Derek heard Dr. Bailey and the Chief were inside trying to stop her internal bleeding. The guilt he felt earlier increased ten fold.

'It's all my fault' was what he remembered thinking. If only Derek insisted on driving Addison home then the accident could have been prevented. If only he forced Addison into talking to him then things could have been different. If only he wasn't a bastard.

So many what ifs but none would really matter in the end.

Still waiting on any news about the operation, Derek vowed silently that he will do anything to make it all up to Addison. He would beg for her forgiveness, act like a real husband, give up Meredith Grey and love Addison completely and unconditionally. He knew it would be a tough road ahead and his wife would probably be unforgiving but Derek was determined. He was not ready to let go yet.

The high pitch ringing of his mobile startled Derek out of his promises. Without looking at the screen, he answered the phone with a halfhearted hello.

"Derek? It's me" said the voice on the other end.

"Savvy?" Derek choked out.

"Hey….hi. Listen, I can't get a hold of Addie. I had a missed call from her earlier and now I can't connect to her phone. Do you know where she is?"

"Oh…Savvy" Derek brokenly said as a fresh batch of tears spilled out of his eyes.

"Derek? Derek, honey, what's wrong? Where's Addison?" asked a frantic Savvy.

"Savvy… there has been an accident. Addison's in surgery right now and I… I don't know what's happening…"

"Oh my God, Derek! I…I'm coming out there. I'll be in the next flight to Seattle."

"Ok. Please, hurry, Sav. She'll need you."

**x x x **

Coming out to tell the patient's family news after any surgery was one of the things Miranda Bailey learned to look forward to and dread at the same time, especially in cases where the outcome wasn't what the family is expecting. Operating on a colleague, or in this case someone she considered a friend, and then telling the next of kin, who also happened to be another colleague, was in another realm of difficulty. Thank God the news she was about to give Derek Shepherd would be considered promising at its best.

Bailey found the man with his face buried in his hands, hunched over. Derek was still in his rumpled suit from the night before and when he looked up, there was no question he had been crying. He immediately stood up and met Bailey halfway when he saw her approach.

"How is she?" Derek asked.

"Why don't we sit down" Bailey said, leading Derek back to the lounge. "She's stable and the Chief is closing right now. We have stopped the bleeding and repaired her spleen. Addison has a dislocated left shoulder and a fracture on her right ankle which Dr. Torres will set when she's transferred to recovery."

Derek exhaled loudly in relief. "How about head trauma? I want a complete check and I want to see the results."

Bailey shook her head at Derek's request. "Dr. Benson already checked her out and everything is alright. You can't be her doctor, Derek. You're her husband. You know that."

Derek was aware of the fact but did not say anything.

"I have to be honest, Derek. She lost a lot of blood and she did give us quite a scare. Addison's one lucky lady." Bailey wanted to continue but hesitated and Derek picked it up.

"What are you not telling me, Dr. Bailey?"

"Derek…" she started slowly and carefully. "Did Addison know she was pregnant?"

* * *

_AN: I know the car crash and the pregnancy were pretty predictable but I promise I'll keep the predictability to a minimum. Anyway, click the blue button and send a review!_


	3. Chapter 3

_You guys just rock with the reviews! A million thanks. And because you all have been generous with your appreciation, let me pay you guys back with an early update. Yay!_

_I forgot to say in the last chapter that the medical lingo was from watching old ER episodes and whatever medical shows. I have no actual knowledge on the subject. The nearest thing I know on the things I wrote was about a hairline fractured right ankle, which I experienced more than a decade ago and I barely remember that time, only that it hurt and I cried when it happened._

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, you all would know what I'd do with a certain couple._

CHAPTER THREE

Addison was transferred to her own private room and Derek had not left her side ever since. He took a short nap but had not changed his clothes or left to grab something to eat for fear that Addison will wake up alone. He just sat there beside his wife, watching her sleep and occasionally stroking her hair and hand. Derek noticed her rings were not on her finger and made a mental note to retrieve them later. He was just thankful to everyone and everything that Addison was okay and would recover. But Derek was dreading the moment he would tell Addison about the baby. The news would break her further and he didn't want it coming from him especially since he was the reason why she's broken in the first place.

Earlier, Callie Torres was inside the room, setting Addison's right ankle in a cast. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two and neither was able to meet each other's eyes, especially Derek. At one point, because Callie couldn't stand the neurosurgeon playing the devoted husband when just less than 24 hours ago he was screwing his mistress, she had asked him to leave the room. But Derek insisted on being there and the young doctor had no choice but to continue her job.

When Callie finished, she left instructions with Derek and promised to be back and explain everything to Addison herself when the redhead wakes up. She was about to give Derek a piece of her mind but thought better of it.

Again left alone with Addison, Derek thought about the best way to tell his wife she had lost a baby she possibly hadn't known she was carrying. Bailey estimated that the fetus was just about a few weeks old, 2 1/2 at the most so Addison probably had no idea she was even pregnant. Maybe being unaware would be less hurtful but Derek knew Addison would take the news sadly either way. She may have not voiced it recently or enough but he knew Addison wanted to be a mother.

And as for his reaction towards that news, Derek had none yet. He hadn't really let himself think about it too much.

**x x x **

The door to Addison's room suddenly opened with a bang as Savvy hurriedly entered later that afternoon. She rushed towards Addison's side, barely giving Derek a glance.

"Oh my God, Addie!" she exclaimed as she took in Addison's bruised face. "Is she alright? Has she woken up yet?" she asked Derek.

"She's gonna be fine, Sav. She has a dislocated shoulder and a banged up ankle but the surgery went well and she'll be good as new in no time. She just needs to rest and recover" Derek answered.

"That's good to hear. What happened, Derek?" Savvy inquired, brushing Addison's hair out of her face.

"A drunk driver ran a red light at high speed and hit her car. She was on her way home from the hospital." Derek said but couldn't explain any further. He didn't want Savvy to know that they had an argument and he let Addison go drive by herself. Derek didn't want Savvy to know that he and Addison are on the brink of a divorce because of his stupidity.

Thankfully, Savvy didn't ask where the hell he was during the whole thing.

"Well, I hope the police arrested that drunk and thrown the jerk in jail for a long time. He shouldn't be driving like that."

"The driver died, Sav." Derek quietly informed his friend.

"Oh, God!" said a horrified Savvy. Both were thinking that Addison could have ended up the same as the driver but they could not and would not say it aloud.

"You better change, Derek." Savvy said as she noticed Derek's appearance. "Have you eaten yet?"

"No. I couldn't leave her alone. I want to be here when she wakes up." Derek said. 'I need to be here when she wakes up' he added silently to himself.

"It's alright, Derek. I'll be here."

"It's okay. I want to stay a bit longer. Maybe, maybe later."

"Okay. Since you're staying for a bit, I'll just go make sure Weiss gets on the evening flight out here and maybe get some coffee. Do you want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good, thanks."

Savvy was almost out of the room when Derek called out. "Savvy, thanks. Thank you for coming out here. It means a lot to Addie, to us. She'll be happy to see you."

Derek was once again alone with his resting wife. He smoothed her blanket and then leaned over to softly kiss Addison's forehead before whispering 'I'm right here, Addie.'

"Hey" a soft voice called out from the door.

Turning towards the voice, Derek was surprised to see Meredith. He didn't even hear the door open. The two of them hadn't seen each other since last night, after she walked out leaving him and Finn waiting.

"Hey" he answered back.

"I heard about the accident. How is she?" she asked sincerely.

"She's going to be fine."

"That's good."

Silence stretched between them. They didn't know what to say to each other given the situation.

"Listen, Derek…" Meredith started.

"We made a mistake." Derek cut her off. "I made a mistake. This thing between us needs to be over. I choose Addison and I'm sticking by it. I want to work it out with my wife. I want my marriage back. I had no right going after you like that. And…and Finn is a good guy. He'd make you happy."

Meredith just stood there frozen and numb.

"This thing between us needs to end. I've hurt Addison enough and I don't want to lose her. I'm not ready and I will not lose her." Derek finally said.

But before Meredith could even say anything, the door opened and Savvy entered with coffee and food.

"Hey, I'm back" she said. She noticed the young blonde but didn't mind her at all. Savvy also failed to register the tension between the two.

"I'm…I'm glad she's gonna be alright." Meredith stammered hurriedly before making a quick exit.

* * *

_AN: I'm sorry. The pregnancy was not meant to be. I feel guilty about it. I'll make it up to you guys somehow. _

_See how your reviews make me write faster? So, go on now, click that blue button. :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_So this is a pretty short update compared to the previous chapters but the next one is ready so if you guys are good (hint, hint) I'll post Chapter 5 soon after. _

_As always, thank you so much for the reviews and of course to my beta, Suz. AND really, really grateful to **loves2writestories** who imparted her wisdom on how to go around current stupidity. You guys really should thank her coz if it wasn't for her, I don't know when I'll get this fic updated. Cheers!!_

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

CHAPTER FOUR 

Savvy finally convinced Derek to go home and get a few hours of sleep by midnight. She promised to look after Addison and to call him right away if she wakes up or if something goes wrong. At first Derek resisted, giving the same reason over and over again just like the times Richard or Miranda urged him to go home.

It was probably the bluntness of Savvy's comment about his smell and of Addison's would be reaction when she wakes up to see him in that state that made Derek consider Savvy's offer. Although in his mind, Derek knew that Addison's reaction to him waiting by her bedside would be far from happiness, he wished and hoped otherwise. He would take this opportunity to go home, change and get some rest because when Addison wakes up, Derek had no intention of leaving her side.

Addison opening her eyes and seeing him first was what Derek needed to happen. He wanted to be the first one she sees and talk to before anyone or anything else. He would apologize first for prom, for Meredith, for ignoring and hurting her, for everything that has happened. Then, Derek would convince her that he loves her and would work on their marriage.

** x x x **

When morning came, Derek hurriedly made his way back to the hospital but not before packing a change of clothes for himself and some necessities he believed Addison would like. A considerable amount of time in the hospital was in the future for Addison, needless to say, and Derek wanted to make his wife's stay as comfortable as possible.

He had scheduled a meeting with Richard first thing in the morning to talk about the adjustment to his surgical schedule. Right now, Derek was on leave understandably but he was willing to do consults and emergency surgeries when he's assured that Addison is fine and awake. After meeting with Richard, he would then turn over his cases to a fellow neuro attending. The one case he'd still personally keep an eye on was Preston Burke's who Derek was planning to visit before going back to Addison's room.

** x x x **

The meeting with Richard was quick and to the point. Richard was very accommodating and had assured him that Derek need not worry and just concentrate on taking care of Addison. But it was turning over his cases to the other doctor and then checking up on Preston that took most of Derek's morning and he couldn't wait to get back to Addison's side and relieve Savvy.

When Derek entered Addison's room, he was shocked to see the person sitting beside the bed was not Savvy. The visitor even had the audacity to hold his wife's hand.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he said angrily, coming over and yanking the man out of the chair.

"I'm here for Addison." Mark said, grabbing Derek's fisted hand off his shirt.

"You have no right to be here. Get out!" Derek said, shoving Mark's shoulder.

But Mark would not budge. "I'm not leaving her like you did, Derek."

"Get out, Mark. I don't want you here. Addison doesn't want you here." Derek said loudly, still shoving Mark out of the room.

Mark was about to retaliate, when a male nurse came in followed by a security personnel. "Is everything alright, Dr. Shepherd?"

Derek and Mark just stared at each other. Then Derek said, "It's alright. Dr. Sloan was just about to leave."

"Okay, then" said the nurse. He and the other man left the room with the door open.

Defeated for the meantime, Mark walked out of the room but said to Derek, "Just so that we're clear, Derek, I'm here to take Addison back home to New York and I have a feeling that this time, convincing her wouldn't be too difficult."


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you all for the reviews. I told you guys, if you reviewed, I'd update faster. :D_

_I know I don't say this often enough but this fic wouldn't be what it is without the help of my dear friend, Suz. You rock, girl. Thanks always for the beta. :D_

* * *

Disclaimer: GA still not mine.

CHAPTER FIVE

"What the hell is Mark Sloan doing here?" an angry Derek asked Savvy when she arrived with her husband Weiss in tow. "I leave a few hours and come back to find that asshole sitting beside my wife. What were you thinking, Savvy?"

"Derek, calm down. Mark found out about the accident and flew in with me" Weiss said, answering for his wife. "He's still our friend, Derek and we're all here for Addie."

"He is not my friend. Nor Addison's." Derek vehemently said.

"Please, Derek, now is not the time. We're all here concerned for Addie and just want to make sure she's fine and taken care of. If it makes you feel any better, we won't leave him alone with Addison" offered Savvy.

"Oh, he won't be getting near Addison anytime soon. I'll request security to ensure that."

"Derek, don't be ridiculous" Savvy protested.

"Savvy, the guy just threatened me that he will take Addison with him back to New York."

"So? As if he could do that. And I don't think Addison would even consider that. He already tried a few weeks ago and Addie sent him back. Why do you think now would be any different?" a slightly exasperated Savvy said.

"Savvy's right, Derek. You and Addie are doing fine. Mark is just being an ass. Addison will just tell him off" Weiss added.

Derek just remained silent, hiding his fear and guilt. He avoided meeting his friends' eyes.

**x x x **

Mark Sloan hated Seattle. He was just outside getting some fresh air and enjoying a cup of bone dry cappuccino when suddenly the weather turned from sunny to a torrential downpour in a matter of minutes. He rushed back to the hospital with his half empty cup and was in search for a towel or a scrub set to borrow. He was trying to wipe the rain off his jacket when the conversation between the two nurses walking in front of him caught his attention.

"Can you believe him? Keeping vigil by her side when just two nights ago he was with his intern."

"Is that even true? The rendezvous with his intern, I mean."

"During prom? Oh, yeah it is. A lot of people saw him chase her towards an exam room. Jessica was just a few feet away when Dr. Torres, the ortho doc, barged into that exam room. She then said a few seconds later the intern stepped out of the room disheveled and Dr. Torres fixing her dress for her. A moment after that McDreamy got out of the room, adjusting his clothes and looking flushed. He then returned to the party where the wife was hanging out with the date while she went to Duquette's room with her friends."

"And now he's playing the loyal husband? The nerve!"

"I know! And get this, his wife knows!"

"What?! About the sex?"

"Yes! Dave saw them fighting at the parking lot."

"And then she gets in an accident! Oh my God! This drama keeps on getting juicier and juicier."

"I Know. And I'm sure things will even get nastier when the She-Shepherd wakes up."

Mark stopped dead cold in his tracks, numb to the dripping hot coffee in his hands when he unconsciously crushed the cup. He was going to kill Derek Shepherd.

**x x x **

Derek needed to return to Addison's room. There had been a mass casualty accident and the hospital needed every available doctor. He was paged for an emergency craniotonomy that he couldn't pass off. The surgery lasted for almost 3 hours and he was getting anxious to return to his wife's side. Derek needed every moment to be there especially now that Mark is in Seattle Grace. Call him paranoid but Derek wasn't taking any risks.

Sure enough, when he arrived, there was Mark with Savvy and Weiss.

"What are you doing here? You're not welcomed here. Get out" Derek said, getting into Mark's face. Weiss stepped forward just in case a fight breaks out.

"Not welcomed here? Maybe you should take that recommendation yourself, Derek. I'm sure Addison would agree with me."

"What are you talking about?" asked a bewildered Derek.

"Oh don't play innocent here" said Mark with fire in his eyes. Both men stood there glaring at each other when suddenly realization came over Derek's eyes.

"Yeah, I know" Mark hissed.

"Guys, what's going on?" asked Savvy.

"I'm taking her back. It's over."

"Leave us alone, Mark. Have some respect for our marriage."

Mark let out a bark of laugher. "Oh, that's rich coming from you."

"Hey! What's going on here? Mark, stop saying you're taking Addie back to New York. Derek and Addison are doing fine. Stop trying to win her back" Savvy ordered.

"I don't even have to try and win her back, Savvy. Addison will be coming back to New York with us." Mark said confidently, throwing a smug smile to Derek.

"What? Somebody better start telling me what the hell is going on."

Mark glanced briefly to where Savvy was before returning to his glaring match with Derek. "So, how about it, Derek? Should I tell Savvy and Weiss or would you do the honors? Afterall, it's your story to tell."

* * *

_Yes, another cliffie. By now you should know that I love cliffhangers. :) Click the blue button and send a review. You'll know what will happen. :D_


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks again for the reviews. It seems the number is getting lower. Are you guys still reading this? I know it's pretty tiring to leave a review every chapter but it keeps my ego healthy (he-he) and makes me update faster. It's just nice to know somebody is still reading, you know:) This is gonna be a long fic and I hope you're still with me until the end._

_Special thanks to Suz for the beta._

_And on a serious note, my prayers go out to the victims, family, friends and all those affected by the Virginia Tech Tragedy._

* * *

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are not mine. No infringement intended.

CHAPTER SIX

"Derek? What's going on? What is Mark talking about?"

Savvy's questions were met with silence.

"Didn't it cross your mind, Savvy, where the hell Derek was the night of the accident?" Mark asked.

"Derek was probably in surgery still" Weiss remarked casually.

"No. It was the night of the prom. Addison told me about it. Remember, honey, I mentioned how happy Addie was that Derek…" Savvy trailed off. "You guys went together, right Derek? What happened then? Why did Addie go home alone?"

Derek kept his head low, avoiding anyone's eyes. Savvy stepped forward and faced him.

"What happened Derek?" Savvy asked forcefully.

Derek finally lifted his head and answered, "We had an argument."

"An argument? About what?"

The two other men just stayed silent and listened to the conversation between Savvy and Derek. Mark was staring angrily at Derek but kept his cool, waiting for him to fess up.

"I did something that night… and Addison found out and…" Derek started off but was unable to continue further.

"What did you do? I don't understand it."

"Oh for fuck's sake! Derek screwed his intern that night while Addison was just a few feet away!" Mark busted out, getting tired of Derek beating around the bush.

"What?!" Savvy and Weiss shouted simultaneously.

It was Weiss who recovered first and asked, "Is…is it true?"

"Yes" Derek answered gravely.

Nobody expected it when a loud smack shattered the silence brought about by Derek's confirmation. Savvy just slapped him hard.

"You bastard!"

Weiss stepped in to hold Savvy back and to keep him from hitting Derek himself.

Derek for his part looked away in shame.

"Why, Derek? Why? How could you? Do you have any idea how excited Addison was? She was really looking forward to spending the party with you."

"I made a terrible mistake, Sav. I'm really sorry for it. I'll make it up to Addison."

"Who is she? It's not that tall blonde girl Addie was working with during my operation, is she?"

"No, no… She's not. I think it's best that we leaver her…"

"Wait, wait. Is it the girl who was in here when I arrived?"

"Meredith was here with you? You really are a bastard!" Mark interjected.

Derek couldn't get a word out.

"Oh my God, Derek. What have you done?" Savvy said, utterly devastated for her best friend's sake. Her fury with Derek was reaching an all time high when she thought about the past months since Addison had moved to Seattle and sacrificed everything.

Savvy broke the silence that fell in the room with a final declaration. "Addison is moving back to New York with us."

Derek looked at her in shock. Even Weiss was surprised at Savvy's statement.

"What? You have no right, Savvy. She is my wife! She's my family."

"Rights? Don't talk to me about rights, Derek. You've forfeited yours as a husband. And don't forget that I've been Addison's family way before you came into the picture."

"You can't force Addison to coming back with you."

"Who says we'll be forcing Addison?" Mark chimed in.

"Stay out of this" Derek hissed at Mark.

"Guys, calm down. No decision will be made until Addison wakes up and makes them herself. So, please…" Weiss said, trying to diffuse the situation.

"No. Addison has suffered enough and I'll be damned if she stays here. I'll convince her to move back to New York" said Savvy.

"Don't do that, please. Give me a chance to talk to Addison and make this right" cried Derek.

"You don't deserve a chance."

"Shut up. I said stay out of this" Derek told Mark off increasingly losing his patience with his former best friend. They were ganging up on him and he couldn't make a convincing argument to persuade Savvy.

The three of them kept on arguing while Weiss tried to interject so that no one would get killed. Nobody heard the faint 'hey' drowned out by the bickering voices.

It didn't stop until Miranda Bailey came in with her most scary Nazi attitude and shouted, "What is going on here? This is a hospital! Sick people are here to recover in peace! The whole floor could hear you shouting!"

The occupants in the room stood silently.

A soft 'hey' came out again and Miranda barely heard it until she walked over to Addison's side and saw her awake.

"Hey, girl. Did these fools' ruckus wake you up?"

* * *

_Addison's awake! Yay! And raise your hand if you wished you were Savvy slapping Derek. Hard._


	7. Chapter 7

Hi All! The reviews are just overwhelming. Thank you so much. Cookies and hugs for everyone!

Not surprisingly, everyone wanted to hurt Derek. I actually wanted to add a kick in the nuts but it might do some damage and ruin the chance for FHBs so I controlled myself. he-he. Anyways, here is the next one and as usual feedback is love. Maybe you could help me reach a hundred reviews? It never happened to me. So... ;)

As usual, thanks to my super beta Suz! )

* * *

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are still not mine. No infringement intended. 

CHAPTER SEVEN

Miranda Bailey had asked everyone except for Derek to leave the room in order for her to update Addison on her condition. Begrudgingly, the three New Yorkers complied but promised to be back first thing the next morning.

Addison was tired still but waited for Miranda's update all the while ignoring the man beside her. She may have been in an accident but she did not forget what happened before. As far as she was concerned Derek had no right to be by her side looking all happy and relieved that she was okay.

As Miranda went on to explain the procedure Addison went through and the recovery plans, Derek was holding on to his wife's hand. But Addison did not reciprocate anything and just let her limp hand be still.

Miranda paused in her monologue and exchanged looks with Derek which Addison caught despite the medication running in her system.

"What is it?" she asked in a raspy voice.

Derek just looked at Miranda, silently telling her that he would prefer that the resident be the one to tell Addison.

"Addison…during your surgery… we found out you were pregnant. I'm sorry, you lost the baby."

"Pregnant? How… how old was the fetus?"

"About two weeks. We couldn't do anything. It did not survive the impact of the crash."

Addison digested the information then closed her eyes and let her tears out. "I'm sorry, I want to be alone. I'm… tired."

"I understand. You get some rest and I'll be back to check on you." Miranda said, squeezing the other woman's hand and left the room. Derek just stayed where he was.

Sensing Derek's presence, Addison said, "Leave me alone."

"Addie…."

"Leave… please." The last word was spoken brokenly.

Derek stood up, kissed her head and left his wife for the meantime.

Addison cried herself back to sleep.

**x x x **

When Addison woke up the next morning, she found her husband sleeping uncomfortably in the chair beside her bed. She didn't realize Derek came back in the room last night. She didn't want to be alone with Derek and was about to call for a nurse when he started to wake up.

"Hey" he smiled at her.

Addison looked away.

"Addie, we didn't get to talk yesterday…I'm glad you're awake and alright" Derek started. He was about to start his apologies when Addison spoke.

"What are you doing here, Derek?"

"I'm here to take care of you."

Addison let out a bark of laughter. "Now, you want to take care of me? If I'd known getting into a car crash and almost dying would make you care, I should have done this earlier. Well, it's too late so get out. I don't need you."

"Don't say that! Look, Addie, I'm so sorry. About everything. I'm sorry about prom, I'm sorry about Meredith. I'm sorry for ignoring you."

"Save it Derek. You just feel guilty 'cause I was in an accident. Next thing you know, you'd be declaring your undying love for me."

"I do love you. And I'm sorry it took an accident and the possibility of losing you forever to make me realize what an idiot I was. I swear the thing between me and Meredith is over. I choose you. I love you."

"I don't believe you. Let's face it Derek, it's over. We've hurt each other too much. It's time to accept that it's over…"

"No" Derek said but before he could continue his argument, Miranda walked in to check on Addison.

"Hey, good to see you awake." Miranda greeted Addison. "Just wanted to check on you. The chief will be joining us in a few minutes. Don't worry, there won't be any interns joining as directed by the chief."

Addison smiled her thanks to Miranda, grateful that her conversation with Derek was interrupted.

**x x x **

"As a precaution, I have to leave the sling on for an extra 4 days more than the necessary one week. I'm not really concerned on it but the Chief would be breathing down both our necks if I let you out of it without his consent."

"I know what you mean, Dr. Torres." Addison smiled at the young doctor.

"Please, call me Callie."

"Only if you call me Addison."

"Deal" Callie replied. She really liked her patient and they both need a friend in this hospital. "Now your right ankle would be as good as new after about 3 weeks but I advise that you take a breather from your killer heels for a few weeks. I'm sorry."

"A few weeks, huh?" Addison said, not too fond of the idea. "Flats don't really go well with my skirts. I guess I have to re-work my wardrobe a bit."

"Oh, you'd look great wearing anything." Callie said with a smile. "Anyway, I have to get back to the ER. Um…I was wondering, do you want some company once in a while? I know being confined isn't much fun and I'm sure you'd be bored out of your mind so…."

"That would be lovely actually. Thanks, Callie."

"No problem. I'll see you later." Callie said and left the room.

A few minutes later Savvy and Weiss entered Addison's room.

"Hey, babe" greeted Savvy.

"Hey guys!" Addison answered back.

Both Savvy and Weiss leaned over and gave Addison kisses and hugs. "I'm glad you're alright, babe" Savvy whispered, holding back tears. The two women hugged each other tightly, mindful of Addison's injuries.

They broke away carefully, laughing through the tears that escaped their eyes. Weiss watched the two fondly. "How are you doing, Addie?" he asked.

"I hurt all over but it will heal. I'm so happy to see you guys! I can't believe you are here."

"We wouldn't be anywhere else, Addie" answered Savvy.

The three friends caught up on the happenings on life in the Big Apple for a good 20 minutes until Savvy caught her husband's eyes. Addison noticed the exchange.

"And that ladies, was my cue to leave" Weiss said, standing up for his exit. "I'll see you later and be good."

"Thanks, honey. Go find that friend of yours." Savvy sneered when she said the word 'friend'.

Weiss just nodded and left the room.

"Friend? What friend?" a confused Addison asked.

"The bastard you call your husband."

"Oh… you … you know what happened?"

"Yes! That bastard!"

"How, how did you find out?"

"Actually Mark found out."

"Mark? Mark is here." Addison shook her head in disbelief.

"Yeah, he flew here with Weiss. Anyway, I think Mark heard it from the nurses and confronted Derek…in front of us. And he confirmed it. The jerk."

"Oh, god! The whole hospital knows! Just what I need."

"Don't worry about that. Good to see he's making himself scarce."

"I kicked him out but he does find his way back when I fall asleep. God, Savvy… how could this happen? I should have just given up. I shouldn't have stayed here. It's all my fault."

"Not all of it is your fault, Addie."

"If I didn't sleep with Mark and just told Derek that I was lonely… If I had just let Derek be and not moved here, then this wouldn't have happened. It wouldn't have hurt this much. What goes around, comes back around, huh?"

"Oh, Addie, you can't solely take the blame on the failings of your marriage. You and Derek both made mistakes. You both slept with other people, regardless of who started it first. You moving here say that at least you tried to salvage your marriage. You fought for it."

"And now it's over."

"I know, honey. But you know and I know and everyone else knows that you tried to make it work. And we know how sorry you are for your mistakes."

Silence fell over the room until Addison broke it and said, "I lost a baby."

"What?"

"In the accident. I didn't even know I was pregnant."

"Oh, Addie… I'm sorry."

"Maybe it's for the best, you know? A baby would have just complicate things and it wouldn't fix our marriage. It is better to end it now without a child involved."

Savvy didn't know what to say to that so she just asked what Addison would do next.

"We'll get divorce. It might take a while since I'll be here recovering and Derek seems to be in denial but I'll have my lawyers draw the papers."

"Derek doesn't want a divorce, huh? He's been preaching about taking care of you and making it up to you ever since I got here."

"It's just the guilt talking. This is Derek. He needs to keep his good guy image. That's why he let me stay and led me to believe we were trying. He chose me but all the while he wanted his intern. He couldn't just tell me he doesn't love me anymore and be done with it. It would have spared everyone involved all the heartache."

"Then, what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean, Sav?"

"Are you staying here in Seattle?"

"I don't know. I have a contract with the hospital…"

"You could go around it."

"What are you getting at, Savvy?"

"What do you think of moving back to New York?"

* * *

Next on TVC: Decisions will be made. Someone will make Derek realize what an ass he is/was and someone's going back to New York. Stay tuned. 


	8. Chapter 8

Hey guys! I know I haven't addressed each reviewer individually but I'm choosing brevity (read as 'I'm so overwhelmed I don't know what else to say') so I'd just like to say each feedback is truly appreciated. Having that said, I'd like to address some common points in your reviews. I'm so glad that a lot of people recognize what a McDouche Derek is/was and the fact that it seemed it was always Addison who wanted the marriage to work, who went after Derek and seemed to love him more than he did her. God, I hated how they presented this in the show. It made Addison so painful to watch. And don't get me started on the show's treatment of Derek's indiscretion in prom being a lesser evil than Addison's affair with Mark. Are you freaking kidding me.

Yes, this is gonna be a relatively long fic. Between 20-25 chapters long. I'm sorry about the cliffhangers but it guarantees that you'd be back for more ;). Yes, I'm evil. But I try to update regularly (atleast every twice a week) unless real life interrupts. I'm procrastinating over my 'real life' writing stuff just to pay attention to this fic as it is. I wonder if my boss, aka the one who signs my checks so that I'd get nice things and have food on the table and continue living, would do if he finds out what I've been up to. But rest assured, I'm not gonna abandon this fic. Or else, my beta Suz (Addison24) would fly here and kick my butt into writing. Right, Suz? ;)

So, about the latest episode...all I can say is I can't wait for the spin off.

Anyway, on with the show...

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and its characters are not mine. No infringement intended.

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHT

"Hey"

"Hey, Weiss" Derek said. "Savvy with Addie, huh?"

"Yeah, they kicked me out." he answered.

"No doubt Savvy's in there convincing Addison to move back to New York. And I'm afraid that Mark is right. That Addison wouldn't need any convincing at all."

Weiss had nothing to say to that.

"I screwed up, Weiss. I screwed up so bad and I've been doing it for so long and it's sad that it only took me this long, this accident to realize it. I'm not ready to lose her, Weiss. I don't want to lose her."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you went ahead and screwed your intern" Weiss busted out, his anger at Derek creeping out. "I don't understand it, Derek. This was your second chance. You and Addison didn't push through with the divorce. She's sorry for her mistake and you took her back. You gave her a chance. I thought you guys were trying. What the hell happened?"

"I guess…I wasn't really trying… I was too obsessed with Meredith… too preoccupied of what I could have had with Meredith…I was so drawn to the ease of being with her, drunk on the total admiration I feel she has on me… I shut Addison out but let the anger and hurt fester within myself. My best friend and my wife betrayed me. That hurt like hell."

"So it was like New York all over again?"

"What?"

"Do you think you were the only one hurting? I'm not excusing what Addison did but you have to understand the situation she was in, Derek. You ignored her, you were absent. Do you know how many times Addison came over to our place crying because you forgot a date, an anniversary? You forgot her birthday damn it. Then, you practically pushed her to Mark."

"Pushed her?" Derek incredulously said.

"How many times have you asked Mark to take your place when you can't make it to your plans with Addie?" Weiss asked but he knew Derek wouldn't answer. "They got closer and you became indifferent. Maybe we should have said something but we didn't think they'd do something stupid. But it happened. And she regretted it but you never let her explain. You just packed your bags and left in the middle of the night. Heck, you didn't even punch out Mark. God, Derek, if I was in your position, I would have killed the guy, best friend or not."

Derek kept silent.

"She knew, you know. Addison knew you found someone else here before she flew for the case. She was ready to give you a divorce 'coz she felt she didn't deserve you back. But you didn't sign and you guys decided to try. She gave up everything for you and now this…" Weiss trailed off. "Maybe it's time to face the music, Derek. It's really over. It's time to let go. You've both hurt each other. Addison has been hurt too much."

"I don't want it to be over, Weiss. I know I don't deserve it but I want another chance and I won't quit until I get it.

"Well, it's going to be tough. You really have to fight hard for that chance."

"I'm gonna fight with everything I have. I'm going to fight for that chance and I'm going to fight for my wife."

Weiss did not have the heart to tell Derek that his effort to fight might just be too late.

**x x x **

"Good to see Sleeping Beauty is awake. I'm glad you're fine, Addison," Mark said as he entered her room. "You got us all worried."

"Well, you know me, I'd like to cause a little drama now and then" she answered back.

"That you do." Mark sat down beside her and took her hand in his. "But I was really worried, Addie."

"Thanks, Mark but I'm going to be alright."

"Are you? Are you going to be alright?" Mark asked and they both knew he wasn't just referring to her physical condition.

"Mark, please… I don't want to hear it. Thank you for coming and all but please, I don't want to hear it."

"You know I'm here for the same reason I was here weeks ago. It's over, Addison. I know that even you realize it now. It's time to go back."

"What is with you and Sav trying to talk me into moving back to New York?"

"You have nothing left here, Addie. You're marriage is over. Go back to New York. You have friends there. I'm there. I'll take care of you."

"Right" Addison said with a bitter laugh. "You and I were a mistake, Mark. A huge mistake."

"We're good together. I love you."

Addison just shook her head. "We're not good together. And you only love me until the next nurse or any woman caught your eye. You're just saying you love me so that you could beat Derek one more time and I'm ending this sick game."

Mark did not respond. He decided to put off his pursuit of Addison for the meantime and concentrate on getting her to move back East. He figured he would have a better chance of winning her back in Manhattan. "What did you tell Savvy?"

"I told her I'd think about it. But Mark, even if I do decide to move back, I still won't get back together with you… and that's final. I'm sorry."

"But Addison…."

"Mark, please…. There's too much history between us. You're tied too closely to Derek. We would never work. So, please…" Addison pleaded. "I appreciate you coming here and checking up on me but… I think it would be better for everyone if you return home immediately. Please. I'll be alright."

Mark couldn't believe Addison was kicking him out. Not only out of her room but out of Seattle and probably out of her life. But he genuinely cared about her and would abide her wishes.

With a defeated look, he rose up, kissed Addison's forehead and said, "Okay… you know where I'll be."

Addison closed her eyes. "Thank you, Mark."

Mark nodded and walked out of the room. Before he could completely leave, Addison called out, "I'll see you around, okay."

Mark smiled at her and left the room.

**x x x **

Derek settled back in his position beside Addison's bed. He was doing some paperwork and paused once in a while to watch his sleeping wife. It was moments like this that Derek took the opportunity to study Addison and just be with her. This was the only time he could come close to Addison and not see the hatred in her eyes, the coldness in her demeanor. Derek took this opportunity to lovingly touch his wife, just enough to feel her warmth but not wake her. If Addison was conscious, she wouldn't even let him near her let alone touch her.

Derek's moment was broken when Addison stirred and opened her eyes.

"Hi" Derek softly said. Addison ignored him. "How are you doing?" he asked, coaxing her to talk to him.

"I'm fine."

Silence stretched between the two.

"It would have been nice, you know?" Derek started. Addison just looked at him, question in her eyes but she never spoke. "A baby. A little girl with your red hair or a boy with your eyes. Either way, a child would have been a blessing."

"A baby wouldn't have change things. We would still be broken." She said softly. "It will only complicate things and add another heart to be broken. What happened… it was for the best."

Derek didn't know what else to say. He knew Savvy and Mark were in with her earlier and he wanted to know if Addison agreed to go back East with them. He was about to ask when Addison beat him to it.

"I'm calling my lawyers tomorrow, Derek. I'll have them draw the same papers. We'll split everything in half. Liquidate everything and split it evenly. I want this quick and easy."

"No, Addison. I don't want a divorce."

"We're getting divorced, Derek. It's over. You can be with Meredith… without me or our marriage hanging over your head" Addison said. "I should really be angry with you right now but I'm just too tired and don't really care to fight. But I do hate you for not signing the first time and for giving me hope. For not having the decency to tell me you were done with us before fucking your girlfriend a few feet away from me. I'm done, Derek. I'm done."

"I'm sorry for everything, Addison. And I don't want Meredith. I want you and our marriage. I want us to work this out."

"It's too late, Derek. Why are you doing this?"

"Because I love you and I don't want to lose you. I know we have hurt each other so much but we can get past it. No more lies, no more betrayal, no more Meredith or Mark. We move forward. We'll be Addison and Derek again."

"I don't believe you. So many things have happened…"

"Please. Addie, all I'm asking is a chance. And I promise I'll work on it."

"You'll work on it? I've already heard that before and look where it got us."

"Please. We'll do it on your terms. If you want, we'll hold off on the divorce for a few months and give our marriage another try. And if after a few months, you still don't believe in us anymore and want a divorce, I'll give you one. Just please..."

"A chance? On my terms?"

"Yes, if you still feel something for me, even the tiniest bit, you will consider this. You will give us another try."

"The truth is, right now? I feel nothing but hatred for you, Derek."

"Addison, please. I know underneath that hatred you still at least care about us." Derek wanted to say love but even he wasn't sure if his wife still loved him. "Please, Addie. I gave you a chance… the least you could do is give the same courtesy to me."

Addison gave him a hard look at that statement but Derek never noticed anything wrong. "A chance… like the one you gave me?" a hint of something ominous flashed quickly over her eyes.

"Yes."

"Okay" she said without any emotion. "You get your chance."

* * *

Hope you guys paid attention. This was a crucial chapter. :) Oh! And YAY! for 101 reveiws. You guys rock! 


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks again for the reviews. I'm going to slow things down for a bit on this chapter and maybe the next. Think of them as sort of fillers. :)

As usual, thanks to Suz for the beta.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. No infringement intended.

* * *

CHAPTER NINE

"Hello, Addison."

"Adele! This is a very pleasant surprise. I'm glad you're here. I was starting to get bored and lonely."

Savvy and Weiss left a few hours earlier to get some rest and pack for their flight the next morning. Savvy insisted on staying but Addison was persistent and told her friend that it was time to get back on with their lives. She was going to be fine and Savvy reluctantly agreed after promising she will be back right before Addison gets discharged. The blonde New Yorker wasn't really happy that Addison decided to stay in Seattle and even more so when she learned her friend was giving Derek a chance to redeem himself. But just like a true best friend, Savvy gave her full support to Addison and her decision.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" Adele asked.

"Getting better and getting bored. I'm cooped inside this room all day long. Richard gave strict orders to the staff that I am not allowed to leave the room or bed without supervision. I'm going to kill that husband of yours. He's treating me like a piece of china."

"Oh, hush now. You know you've always been Richard's favorite. You're like the daughter we never had. Did you know that Richard had second thoughts about accepting Seattle's proposal 'coz he didn't want to leave New York and you?"

"Really?" Addison asked in disbelief. "That was so sweet and totally unnecessary."

"I told him, you were a big girl and could handle everything on your own. Richard really did take a liking to you especially during your first year when you just lost your father. He saw something in you and it brought out the father in him."

"And I'm really grateful for him taking me under his wing and for the two of you for becoming my family." Addison smiled at Adele. "So, what did you finally say to convince him to take the proposal?"

"He saw to it that Derek takes good care of you."

The joy in Addison's face instantly vanished at the mention of her husband's name and Adele noticed the change in the younger woman's bearing.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I heard…"

"God, news does travel fast here. I bet the gossip mongers are having a field day with the drama of my life."

"You know, Addie. You and I are kindred spirits. Our men strayed with Grey women. I've known for years about Richard's affair with Ellis."

Addison stared at Adele. "And now you're here to tell me that giving Derek a chance was the right thing to do?"

"I'm here to visit a friend who's recovering from an accident. I don't need to tell you what to do, Addison. I know you already know what to do."

**x x x **

"Shepherd" Richard called out to Derek who was sitting alone at the doctor's lounge reviewing a chart.

"Richard, what can I do for you?" Derek said as the Chief entered the room.

"Just wanted to check on you, Shep. How are you doing?"

"I'm dealing."

"You know Derek, I'm disappointed. I told you about my affair in hopes that you'll learn something but here you go and do something so callous. Calling you decent and honorable was a mistake." Richard said, letting the younger man know that he knew all the drama involving Derek and his wife.

"I know what I did was wrong, Richard. And I'm a bastard for it but I'm rectifying the situation. I'm making it up to Addison. The thing between me and Meredith is over. I'm working on my marriage."

"Addie is taking you back?" Richard asked in surprise. He was almost certain Addison would kick her husband to the curb.

"She wanted a divorce but I asked for another chance and she agreed. We're giving us another go and this time I'm not going to let anyone or anything mess this up."

"For your sake, Derek, I hope it works. But remember this," Richard started. "If you hurt Addison again, I swear to God, I'm not turning a blind eye anymore. And I'll do anything she asks, professionally and personally."

**x x x **

"Good morning" Derek greeted his wife with a smile as he entered her room with a steaming cup in each hand. "How are you doing?" he asked and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Addison tried with all her might not to flinch and pull away.

"I'm fine." She answered flatly.

Derek brushed off her cold reaction to him and went to her closet to grab a coat for his wife. "It's a beautiful day outside and I thought you'd want to go out for a while. There's a slight chill in the air but the sun is up. Let me help you up and bundle you with this coat." He pulled the blanket covering his wife's legs and helped her up straight. "You do want to go outside. Right, Addie?"

"Yeah, I'd like that" she answered.

"Great. Let me just a grab a wheelchair and then we'll be off. Oh… here… I brought some juju for you." He handed her the cup before leaving the room for the wheelchair.

The sun and the fresh air outside lifted Addison's spirits but had not thawed the iciness towards her husband. Derek was trying to engage her in idle conversation but she remained silent. He was pushing her slowly around the hospital's garden where a couple of patients and their loved ones were also taking advantage of the wonderful weather. Derek spotted a secluded area and guided Addison towards it.

"Why don't we rest here for a while? You okay?" Derek said, hoping Addison would answer back.

Addison just nodded. She was really getting tired of being asked how she was and of answering that she was fine.

"Addie… listen. I know you're probably having second thoughts about giving us another try but I promise you, I want this. I want our marriage and I am committed in making it work. I love you." He waited for any reaction but Addison had none. "I want to tell you something…something that I've been keeping from you. I'm telling you this right now because you deserve to know. We need to be honest with each other as we work on us." He paused then continued, "Meredith and I would always meet when I took Doc for his walks."

He waited for Addison's reaction but she just looked at him with unreadable eyes.

"I swear nothing happened… until prom… which I'm really sorry about. The walks with Doc were very platonic. Nothing happened. We were just…"

"I want to go back." She said, cutting him off.

"Addison…" he started to say.

"I want to go back." She said again with more force.

When Derek didn't move to push her, Addison tried to maneuver the wheelchair with one arm to no avail. He then went to grab the handles and started to push her back towards the hospital in silence.

The almost pleasant morning start suddenly turned chillier for Derek Shepherd.

* * *

_It's gonna be a hard climb for Derek. Review please. I have the next chapter done and I'll just wait for a number of reviews and post it when we reach it, Yes, I'm evil._


	10. Chapter 10

Hey guys! Thanks again for the reviews. I was planning to post this after the episode/s air but knowing Shonda and her episodes, I may just be in a foul mood after the show. So, as to not affect this fic... here you guys go.

Oh yeah...and there's a serious lack of Addek fanfics out so...calling all writers, come out wherever you are...

Shutting up now.

* * *

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy not mine.

CHAPTER TEN

A week had passed since Addison agreed to give Derek another chance and things between the two had not improved. Addison was still unresponsive to his attention but it never deterred Derek from his actions. He was back to work but he spends his free time and any moment he could spare with his wife. Derek brought fresh flowers every other day and her favorite food whenever they had time to eat together. He was really trying.

When Derek was away, Addison busied herself with her paperwork that she had asked Bailey's interns, O'Malley and shockingly enough Karev, to send to her room. Richard wasn't happy to see her work but Addison had threatened to leave her room and run her department in her wheelchair, thus scaring the patients, if she wasn't even allowed to do paperwork. When she got tired of reading her papers, Addison would find a nurse to intimidate and convince to wheel her into Burke's room. The two recovering surgeons would then spend the whole time talking until the Chief or Bailey kicked Addison out.

Addison did not lack the attention of well wishers and visitors alike. Former patients like Dory Russell had sent flowers and get well cards. Colleagues and other people she had worked with, even the most intimidated of interns, came by to see how she was. Miranda even brought Tuck by to Addison's delight. For the first time since moving to Seattle, Addison felt that she belonged there and people do care about her. She was no longer the wicked witch from the east.

**x x x **

"Hey" Callie greeted as she entered Addison's room carrying a pair of crutches. "I have something for you."

"Hey Callie! Crutches, huh? Couldn't really use that with a bum arm but I'm guessing you're also here to remove the sling." Addison remarked slyly.

"Today is your lucky day. I have cleared things with the Chief and after I assess your shoulder, we'll see if you're ready with the crutches."

"Thank God! I'm this close to ripping the sling off and I think the crutches would be better than having to be wheeled off just to get to places."

"Well, the crutches here will give you some freedom although you shouldn't push it. You still need to keep your foot elevated."

"Yes, doctor." Addison cheekily replied.

Callie then helped Addison sit up. She removed the sling off the older woman's shoulder and carefully rotated it. "Healed pretty well" Callie said as she assessed the shoulder further.

Over the past few days, the two doctors along with Miranda Bailey had spent a considerable amount together, getting to know each other. The two residents had become constant visitors especially when Savvy went back to New York.

"So, you never told me how you and Savvy met." Callie said conversationally while she worked.

"Savvy and I go way, way back. She was actually my first year dorm mate at Harvard. Here I was this tall, lanky geek who just had her braces removed and Savvy was the quintessential sophisticated college girl. We found out we were both from New York and had several mutual friends but didn't actually meet. She helped me get past this awkward geeky stage and had been my teacher in a lot of things – the good and definitely the bad or should I say naughty stuff."

Both women giggled over this. "And Weiss?" Callie asked.

"We met Weiss, who turned out to be another New Yorker, on our junior year. He was a senior and Savvy really fell hard for him. The two were inseparable until Weiss had graduated and went to law school at NYU. When we graduated, Savvy was determined to move back home. I declined Harvard Med School and went to Columbia to be near Savvy and by that time, my only remaining family which was my dad, had cancer. There was really no other choice but to move back to New York."

"I'm sorry." Callie when she heard about Addison's father.

"Don't be. It was a long time ago. My dad succumbed peacefully to cancer on my first year as an intern under Richard."

"Was it during your internship that you met Dr. Shepherd?" Callie realized her mistake of mentioning Derek too late and quickly said sorry. Addison just shook her head and continued with her story.

"Actually I met Derek at med school, started dating him on our second year. Of course eventually Mark joined our circle although he wasn't on the same program as Derek and I were. That was how my Harvard threesome became into the NY Fab Five. But really, that circle had been tainted because of the mistake Mark and I did."

"But you still have Savvy and Weiss, no matter what."

"Yes, I do."

A comfortable silence came between them until Callie urged Addison to try the crutches out.

"Come on, let's get you familiar with these." Callie said as she handed Addison her crutches and helped her out.

"Wait, before I do this. Can I ask you a favor?

"Sure."

"Could you grab me a set of scrubs? I really don't want people looking at my ass in this nightgown while I hobbled up and down."

"Okay, no problem. But I'm sure a lot of people, the male population in particular, would love to see your ass."

"Oh, shut up."

**x x x **

"What do you think you're doing, Addison? You're scaring the patients!" Richard bellowed when he caught his favorite attending on the surgical floor checking on charts. "You've only been on crutches for three days and I have reports that you've been here and in maternity checking up on patients. You're a patient here at the hospital, Addison, not a doctor. Wearing those scrubs won't fool anyone."

"Richard, please. I'm getting bored out of my mind. If you won't allow me to do this, then discharge me! God knows I'm ready to leave this hospital. I'm healing. I'm up and about. I saw my chart and everything looks okay."

"I don't think you're ready to be discharged yet."

"Richard, stop being overly cautious and protective. I'm fine. I can recuperate at home. Please."

"Okay. I'll approve your discharge on Monday." Richard hesitantly agreed.

"Monday?! But that's five days from now!"

"Monday or another week, that's all I'm offering."

"Fine" Addison grumbled.

"Okay, now, why don't we go back to your room and rest?" Richard said, leading Addison towards the elevators.

"I can go there by myself, you know." Addison said to Richard petulantly.

"I'd like to see with my own eyes, if you don't mind. If I don't, I might find you down the ER and doing sutures."

Addison just looked sheepishly away when Richard said this and he caught her. "What am I going to do with you, Addie?" he said, shaking his head. Addison just flashed him a mischievous smile.

The elevator doors opened to reveal Derek in one corner and Meredith near the entrance. They were the only occupants inside but they looked uncomfortable being in the same enclosed space. Meredith made her way out quietly, avoiding Addison's eyes. Addison's playful mood vanished when she saw the two. Derek, on the other hand, perked up when he saw his wife with the Chief.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" he smiled, holding the doors open for her and Richard.

Addison didn't seem to want to speak so Richard answered Derek. "We're just on our way back to her room to get some rest, right, Addie?"

She barely nodded and the three rode the elevator in silence.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey guys! Thanks again for the reviews. Got to warn you though, since I've seen Addison/Pete, I think they're my new canon OTP. But Addek still remains my fic OTP coz we all know that ficDerek is way better than canon Derek. Agree?

Anyway, as usual thanks to Suz for the beta.

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy still not mine. If it were, Addison will have more screentime and Addek will get back together.

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Days had passed uneventfully for Addison as she waited to be discharged. Richard had been stricter in keeping her inside the room ever since he discovered Addison stalking the halls of the surgical floor looking for something to do. She was really glad when, by Friday, Savvy returned to Seattle Grace with various magazines and catalogues to browse through.

"Just sign over here and it's all yours. I'll take care of everything" Savvy said as she pointed to the space on the papers she handed to Addison. "And I've ordered most of the items we've gone over online and they'll be ready on time."

"Thanks for doing this, Sav." Addison gratefully said to her friend.

"Anytime, babe"

Derek found the two still pouring over the catalogues when he entered Addison's room. He didn't know Savvy would be back and felt nervous at her presence. He still feared the fact that Savvy could convince Addison to return to New York.

"Hi" he nervously greeted the two women.

Savvy gave him a strained smile while Addison just nodded at him.

Derek came closer and planted a quick kiss on his wife's head. "Hello, Savvy. I didn't know you'd be back. When did you get in?" He didn't know if it was okay to approach Savvy and give her a kiss hello like he used to so Derek made his way to the unoccupied chair – the one farthest from Addison.

"I came in yesterday but I had to take care of some things" replied Savvy.

"I see." Derek said. He didn't know what else to say. Things between the two had also become uneasy.

"Derek," Addison called out. It was one of the rarest times that his wife had made an attempt address him. "Could you lend Savvy your keys to the trailer? I don't know what have become of mine and Savvy really needed something I have from there."

"Oh… I could get it for you. I don't mind." Derek said.

"No, no. It's all right. I'll get it." Savvy interjected.

"Are you sure? My next surgery isn't until 3pm. I can go home and get it. Besides, do you even know how to get there?"

"It's alright, Derek. You're at work. And Addie gave me directions earlier." Savvy pointed out.

Derek complied and handed over his keys. He didn't want to argue with the two, especially since things between them were precarious.

"Thanks," Savvy said as she accepted the keys. "I think I better go now. I have some other errands to do but I'll be back later." She left the room quickly after squeezing Addison's hand.

Silence fell over the couple in the room, a regular occurrence lately between the two.

"Do you think we need to see another marriage counselor when you get out of the hospital?" Derek asked quietly, hoping to start a conversation on the state of their marriage. Addison just looked at him for a moment with question in her eyes.

"It didn't work before so I guess, no." Addison replied.

"It's just that, you barely talk to me and… I really don't know what to do. I'm trying here, Addison."

"Can you really blame me for not wanting to talk to you?" she snapped back.

"It's just that… you're distant, I don't know what you're thinking… what you want."

"Just give it time. Wait for it to pass."

"Wait for it to pass." Derek repeated, his own words of a long time ago coming back to haunt him. He shook the memory away and continued, "It… it would be helpful if you would just tell me what you want me to do."

Addison was miffed that Derek felt he needed for her to tell him what to do. "Fine, I want you to stop looking like a wounded puppy. I want you to stop smiling this 'McDreamy' smile. That's not you and frankly it just makes you look smarmy." She said spitefully.

Derek would have laughed if he hadn't caught the irritation in her voice. It was a typical Addison tirade and usually they both just laugh at it. But there was no mistaking the seriousness and the contempt on her tone when she said it.

He just swallowed his protest and nodded silently.

**x x x **

Derek was excited when Monday arrived. It was the day Addison would be released from the hospital. He had taken the day off to spend the whole time with his wife and to ensure that everything was in order for her home coming. Derek had spent the whole Sunday preparing the trailer, making sure that everything was to Addison's liking. He had realized that the trailer wasn't actually fit for someone with crutches but it was too late to make other arrangements. They would just have to make do but he'd do almost anything to guarantee that Addison was comfortable.

Derek arrived at Addison's room and found his wife surrounded by Richard, Bailey and Callie Torres. Savvy was also there, packing the last of Addison's items.

"Wow. Somebody's popular." He remarked but nobody reacted to him.

"Come on now, Addison" Richard began. "Hop on the wheelchair. And I don't want to hear a protest from you. It's hospital policy." He said pushing the wheelchair he had asked an orderly to leave at the room near Addison's side.

"Alright" Addison mumbled. "This is embarrassing." She said under her breath then obediently hopped on.

The group left the room and made their way out of the hospital. Richard was pushing Addison in the wheelchair while Derek carried their bags and Callie handled the crutches. Savvy and Bailey filled their arms with flowers, balloons and other items well wishers sent during Addison's confinement.

When they reached the hospital's main entrance, Derek excused himself to get the car. The three doctors took the opportunity to say their goodbyes to Addison.

"We'll see you soon, okay girl? Take care of yourself." Bailey said.

"Thank you, Miranda. I'll see you soon."

"Take care, Addison. Don't overexert yourself, okay? See you soon." Callie said when it was her turn.

Addison smiled at the young doctor. "Yes, ma'am. I'll see you guys soon."

"But not for another 2 weeks. I don't want to see you on hospital grounds before then." Richard interjected.

"Richard." Addison said warningly. "I'll be here before your 2 week sanction is up. I'll have my cast and stitches removed. Speaking of which, I know it was you who closed me up so there better be no visible scars when it's all healed."

"What do you think I am? An intern? For your information, Addie, that is probably the best suture I have ever done in my career. Even the plastic guys would agree with me."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll believe it when I see or actually, don't see it." Addison said with a smile. Derek's Range Rover pulled up. "So, I guess, I'll see you all soon, huh?" she said looking at each doctor who she owed her life to. "Thank you. Thank you so much for putting me back together."

Derek's SUV was quickly loaded up and the three passengers settled themselves then waved goodbye to the three doctors.

"Ready to go home?" Derek asked, looking at Addison through the rear view mirror where she sat at the backseat.

"Actually, Derek, there's something I'd like to show Addison, if you don't mind."  
Savvy answered instead. "I'll give directions."

When they arrived at their unexpected destination, Derek couldn't help but wonder what they were doing at the posh, high rise apartment building. Savvy led the way to the elevators and pushed for the 24th floor. Derek assisted his wife all throughout the way. When the elevator reached the floor, Savvy got out and made her way confidently to door number 2405. She inserted the key and opened the door.

"Welcome home, Addie." She said.

Derek's eyes widened in shock. The apartment was fully furnished and ready to be lived in.

"Oh, Savvy, it looks great!" Addison remarked as she hobbled her way inside.

Derek just stood by the door and took everything in. Addison never meant to go home with him to the trailer. It was a punch in the gut.

Savvy noticed Derek by the door and guessed what he was thinking. She muttered to him quietly, "Remember Derek, on her terms. On her terms."

Derek just stared at her and said nothing. When his initial shock wore off, he perused the apartment. He noticed that the design and furnishing was so Addison – modern but warm, elegant but seemingly simple enough. Actually, the whole apartment reminded him of the SoHo unit Addison and Savvy used to share years ago. There were also items very familiar to him. Items that used to be in their brownstone in Manhattan – the Paris snow globe Addison's father gave her when she was 12; the first item, a lava lamp, Addison bought with her first earned money in high school; the picture of Addison at 7 years old dancing with her dad; and the delicately framed black and white photo of Mrs. Montgomery, pregnant with her daughter.

Derek followed the two women down the hallway and as he passed by the guest room, he noticed that Savvy had already claimed the room. When he reached the master bedroom, he was utterly shocked at what he saw – everything was to Addison's liking. Her books and CDs all neatly stacked and every closet was already filled with her clothes and shoes.

The message was very clear to Derek: this was Addison's sanctuary, hers alone. And her husband had no place in it.

* * *

Sorry if I'm so cruel to Derek. And if you're looking for instant reunion between these two, sorry this fic is not it. :)


	12. Chapter 12

You guys are just so great with the reviews. Yeah, I did feel bad for Derek but then I remembered S2 and forgot about it. Addison is still mad and feels like being Satan for a while. :)

So, good news, another update. Bad news - I'll be on vacation for a week so no update until maybe the end of next week.

Thanks to Suz for the beta.

Disclaimer: Grey's still not mine. No infringement intended.

* * *

CHAPTER TWELVE

Addison and Savvy spent the following days decorating the new apartment and exploring Seattle when Addison felt like it and if weather permitted. Addison's injury made their excursions a bit harder but it didn't stop them from their fun. Derek became a casual observer but at times he joined their trips uninvited. The two women tolerated his presence or more precisely Savvy tolerated his presence while Addison didn't seem to care one way or another.

The same case happened during times at the apartment. After every shift, Derek would come over and sometimes cook for the ladies. He would be there almost every day but he would never stay for the night. Whenever he had overstayed his welcome, Savvy would make hints for him to leave. Although in the last few days it seemed Savvy had slipped and forgot to make her hints or it seemed that she was opening a window of opportunity for Derek. Naturally, he'd take the opportunity and sleep on the couch. But throughout all of these things, Addison barely acknowledged him and only talked to him indirectly.

Derek chalked Addison's silence to not being ready yet to talk to him and he confidently believed that when Savvy leaves, they would be able to start working on their marriage together.

**x x x **

By the end of 2 weeks, Addison's cast and stitches were removed. Walking without the cast was a welcomed change and took a few minutes getting used to. Callie had again advised to take it easy and banned the older woman from wearing her trademark heels for a fortnight. Addison playfully scowled at the ortho doctor and grudgingly agreed when Callie threatened to take the matter up to the Chief.

Richard on the other hand was smiling smugly when Miranda Bailey took out Addison's stitches. It was a pretty good stitching job and only left an angry red line that would, in time, fade to a barely-there scar. Even Addison had to admit that Richard's suture was superb given the circumstances.

After getting checked on, Addison asked Richard to be put back to work immediately. The Chief of Surgery was skeptical at first but soon gave in and told his prized attending that she can return to work the following Monday. Addison was ecstatic with the news and hugged her mentor and surrogate father warmly.

As Addison and Savvy were about to leave the hospital, Derek intercepted them. He was called in for an emergency surgery and had missed Addison's appointment. He smiled when he saw his wife walking without a cast on and came over to hug and kiss her. Addison reluctantly accepted the hug but moved her face before Derek's lips reached hers. Derek's kiss landed on her cheek but he didn't seem to mind at all.

"Hey" He greeted the two women with a smile. "This is great, babe. The crutches are gone." Addison gave him a small smile. "So, do you guys have plans?"

"We were about to hit the mall 'coz somebody here is banned from wearing heels and wanted to re-work her wardrobe." Savvy teasingly said.

"Well, I don't exactly own a skirt that goes well with flats. And I don't think I own flats for that matter." Addison defended herself.

Derek just watched the banter between the two before interrupting, "Before you guys go and do your shopping rampage, I'd like to show something to Addison, if you guys, don't mind. It's at the apartment." He was still hurt that Addison didn't want to live with him but had accepted the fact and made note that it would be one of the items they would work on in getting their marriage on track.

When they arrived at the apartment complex, Derek directed his vehicle towards Addison's designated parking spot but the space was already occupied. He killed the engine and motioned for his passengers to get off the car. A new black BMW X5 occupied the parking space and Derek motioned to it and said, "Surprise!"

"You bought Addison a car!" exclaimed Savvy when her shock wore off. Addison was also shocked but said nothing.

"It's not just a car, Savvy. It's one of the safest SUVs in the market today." Derek replied. "How do you like it, babe? Although, I'm requesting Richard for our shifts to match when you get back to work so that we'd go in together, a car of your own wouldn't hurt when you get called in and I'm not available to drive you. But as much as possible, I want to be the one to drive you anywhere especially with 3am emergencies. I want you to be always safe when on the road."

Derek just brought her a car. Addison could not believe it. Actually, it was not the actual car that shocked her. It was the thoughtfulness surrounding the act. Derek just bought her an expensive but, according to industry standards, safe sports utility vehicle because he didn't want a repeat of the accident. Though she knew that accidents do happen and you could only do so much to avoid it, the fact that Derek had her welfare in mind touched something inside Addison.

For the first time since prom, Addison flashed her husband a small but genuine smile.

x x x

Addison returned to work the following Monday. Derek picked her up at the apartment and took her to breakfast before logging in for their shifts. The conversation over breakfast was mostly one sided. Addison wished Derek would just hurry up so they'd get to the hospital sooner but he took his time and tried to coax his wife into a conversation. He almost wished Savvy was still there with them. At least then, he would hear a few more words than the slight nodding of her head or if he was lucky the mundane 'uhuhs'.

But Savvy went back home to Manhattan the weekend before and promised to be back in Seattle if Addison ever needed her. She also sent a warning to Derek that she could easily convince his wife to leave him and kick his ass if he blew out this chance. Derek assured their friend that there wouldn't be any need for ass kicking since he was determined to make their marriage work.

In her first week back, Richard ordered Addison to just consult in cases. He wouldn't allow her near any OR and the closest thing Addison came to any action was by doing scuts in the ER willingly. Her husband had been supportive throughout without actually being suffocating. He brought her lunch and on one or two occasions, Derek brought Addison to a spot in Seattle with cute viewfinders, complete with a brown bagged lunch.

By the second week, Addison had enough of Richard's constant hovering and demanded to be allowed in the OR. Her first surgery coming back was a routine C-section. Derek had cleared his schedule to watch Addison in the OR. He brought her good luck juju ahead of the surgery and even accompanied his wife in the scrub area and helped tie her scrub cap. When Addison looked up at the gallery during the C-section, Derek met her gaze with a smile.

Derek's constant attention and care paid off. By the end of her second week back, Addison left a spare key to her apartment in his locker.

* * *

_I thought giving Derek a key was too early but Addison took pity on him._


	13. Chapter 13

I'm back. Thanks for the feedback. Wanted to post this earlier but for some reason my laptop can't access this site but this desktop can. So weird. Anyone having the same problem? Any idea what I can do to fix this?

Thanks to Suz for the beta. You rock, girl!

Disclaimer: As in previous chapters, GA is not mine.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Things between the Shepherds had become civil, which Derek had been grateful for.  
There were less one sided conversations but Addison was still distant and they haven't really talked about their marriage. Derek was certain things would soon improve evidenced by the spare key to the apartment in his possession.

Derek was pleasantly surprised when he found the key in his locker at the end of shift. He was pretty excited but had to use all of his will power to control the urge to move all his belongings. After work that day, he came over for dinner but left for the night. He did spend the weekend with Addison at the apartment and actually used his key to enter that Saturday morning. Addison didn't seem shocked to see him there and when evening came, she replaced the beddings of the guest room with new ones. She made sure Derek saw what she was doing so that there would be no misunderstandings about sleeping arrangements. He may be welcomed to stay at her place but Derek had a long way to go before she would even consider inviting him in her room.

The start of the third week of Addison's return had been a bad one. A preemie was found in the trashcan of a girls' bathroom at a local high school. The baby had a eminent blood condition and they needed to identify the mother in order to proceed with the operation. The school sent four teenaged girls, all barely 15 years old to the hospital for questioning. They were the last ones inside the bathroom but they denied any knowledge about the baby. After a difficult talk with the girls and their parents, Addison and the Chief convinced them to do blood tests to identify the mother and help save the newborn. The blood test results narrowed the choice to two girls and after Addison pleaded with them, the girl named Shannon came forward and told the truth.

The baby survived the operation but the case hit close to home for Addison. She understood how the young girl must have felt and panicked but what she couldn't understand was how they returned back to normal as if nothing had happened. The case made her think about her past, the night Derek found her with Mark in particular, and about her pregnancy. It shook her and she locked herself inside an on call room before Derek came in and comforted her. Addison didn't shun his comfort away but they didn't talk. Her husband was just glad that his silent offer was accepted. Derek was content just to hold her in his arms.

x x x

"Are you sure? it's okay for me to go?" asked Derek as he prepared his stuff for a camping trip with Preston Burke. It was Friday and they were at the apartment eating breakfast that Derek got earlier. He was concerned for his wife after the difficult week at work. Addison just looked at him and said nothing. "Addie? I can cancel with Preston and we could do something for the weekend."

He was still met by silence. "Addison?" he asked again.

Addison finally turned to him. "I really don't care, Derek. You never bothered to tell me where you go in the past or ask me if it's okay for you to go and be one with nature, why would today be any different? I'm not your keeper."

Derek just looked down, hurt with Addison's brush off. "Okay" he said in resignation. "I will be back on Sunday, in the afternoon probably. Maybe we could go out for dinner?" Addison shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, I think I better go now. I have to pick up Preston and I don't want to be late." He grabbed his stuff and leaned over to place a kiss on Addison's forehead.

"Have a good day at work." He said over his shoulder before leaving the apartment. Addison just continued eating her breakfast not even bothering to wave goodbye.

x x x

Addison had not even settled herself for the day when she got paged for a consult. A pregnant woman who slipped and fell in the shower came in the ER. Addison was just starting the ultrasound when Callie came in for the same case.

"I got paged?" Callie said as she came in the room.

"Yes. Dr. Torres, these are Ted and Jamie Carr. Jamie slipped and fell in the shower this morning." Addison presented while she checked the baby with the machine.

"I couldn't see my own feet." Jamie said in way of explaining her injury.

Callie lifted the ice pack on Jamie's hand. "Nasty break" she remarked. "Did you prescribe any meds for the pain?" she asked Addison.

"She refused." Addison replied.

"Oh, don't do that. Take the meds, believe me."

"The baby…" Jamie started. "I know Dr. Shepherd said it was alright but… I'll suffer" she said to Callie. Turning to Addison, she asked, "Is he okay? He was kicking like crazy earlier"

"He's probably just sleeping" Addison answered distractedly. A look of concern and then sadness washed over her face. Suddenly she excused herself out of the room. Callie and the Carrs looked on puzzled. The young doctor then proceeded to tell the couple about Jamie's injury to cover up Addison's departure.

Not long after, Callie followed Addison into the women's restroom where she saw the other surgeon hurriedly went.

'Addison, you okay?" She called out and stopped in front of the cubicle where she could see Addison's heels peeking out. She knocked once and Addison opened the door silently, not even bothering to hide her tears. Callie offered a hand up.

"You okay?" the young doctor asked again.

"Ever since the accident, I get emotional over things like this." Addison said tearfully. "I should be used to this but now that I've experienced the loss… it hurts."

"Add…what are you talking about?" Callie asked, concerned for her distraught friend. Addison forgot that the resident didn't know about the casualty of her accident.

"I was pregnant when the accident happened. I didn't know." She answered brokenly. "And this young couple, who are happy and this close to having their baby… they'll be devastated. The baby is dead." She said softly before a batch of tears fell down.

When the two women regained control of their emotions, Callie suggested that Addison should tell the Carrs right away. Addison shook her head and told the young doctor to give the couple a few more minutes before they let them know the bad news.

Callie had set Jamie's hand when Addison finally got the courage to tell the couple. Just by looking at the doctor's face, they knew that the news was grave. Addison had barely told them anything when realization came over the Carrs. Ted and Jaime broke down and the two doctors left them alone in their grief.

It was an emotional and difficult time for the Carrs and for Addison when the time to deliver the dead baby came. Jaime was crying all throughout the procedure while Ted tried to comfort his wife as best as he could. Addison also had trouble emotionally during the delivery but kept her professionalism and gently guided Jaime through the procedure. Callie stayed at the room in support for the devastated couple and for her friend.

It was past 8pm when Addison found Callie in the locker room. The unfortunate incident with the Carrs had made Addison miserable and sad the rest of the day and she needed to drown her sorrows. She sent a message to Callie to meet her at the doctor's locker room.

"Hey. Do you want to get a drink?" she asked Callie.

"Sure. Joe's?"

"I'd prefer somewhere else."

"Okay, I know just the place."

They wound up in a more upscale and relatively quiet bar, a few blocks from the hotel Addison stayed at when she arrived in Seattle. The women ordered martinis but Callie was smart enough not to match Addison's pace in downing the drinks. The younger woman knew her friend's intention of getting smashed and she had appointed herself to be the responsible one of the pair. Addison was well on her way through her third martini when she suddenly opened up about her baby issues.

"I always wanted to have a baby." She started. "We talked about it after we got married and decided to start when we have our careers on track and life got less hectic. The time came briefly and then we really got successful. Our intimacy became less about love and starting a family. I felt Derek pull away but I never said anything."

She finished the drink and motioned for another. "I would have been fine with it, you know? Pregnant without Derek. A single mother. I wouldn't have been devastated if my marriage fell apart since I'll have someone to love and love me in return unconditionally. I wouldn't have been alone or cast aside."

Callie reached for her friend's hand for a squeeze of comfort. Addison gave her a small smile then picked up her newly arrived drink and raised it to Callie's for a toast. "Here's to things that could have been" she said then quickly downed her fourth martini.

x x x

Derek was going out of his mind. It was past midnight and Addison had not returned home yet. He already tried her phone and the hospital but no one had seen or heard from her. Miranda Bailey had called him earlier and mentioned that Addison was looking sad and lost the whole day after an upsetting case. Upon hearing this, Derek immediately cut his camping trip short and returned to the city. He was now in Addison's living room, pacing.

Derek reached for his phone again and dialed Addison's number. When her voicemail picked up, he started to leave another message. "Addie, it's me again. Where are you? Please, I just want to know if you're safe and…" He trailed off when he heard the lock of the door snap open. Derek threw his phone to the couch and rushed over.

"Oh, God! Addison!" he exclaimed and pulled his wife in his arms. "Where have you been?" Addison smelled of smoke and vodka.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, clearly tipsy.

"Addison, you've been drinking." He stated obviously, Then he realized something else. "Oh my God! You drove intoxicated! Something could have happened to you!" a distraught Derek said. Memories of the accident flashed before his eyes.

"Callie drove." She answered casually but she hadn't missed the concern and fear in Derek's voice. He hugged her to him again.

"I'm just glad you're safe." He whispered tenderly.

Addison softened when she heard this. She was still emotional and a bit drunk. Derek had been pretty wonderful the past few days and she couldn't help but seek him out. She relaxed in his embrace and then started to kiss his neck. Derek closed his eyes at the sensation. It felt good to feel his wife's lips on his skin.

When he felt Addison's hands tug his shirt out of his pants, Derek placed his hands over hers and looked at her. "Are you sure, Addie?" he asked.

Addison kissed him fully in response.

You may recognize some S3 storylines but in this fic, Addison was never pregnant with Mark's baby. Just wanted to clear that up. :)


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. I'm still having problems accessing the site with my laptop, so updates would be erratic. If anyone has any idea how to fix my problem, please let me know.

Thanks to Suz for the beta.

Disclaimer: GA and its characters are not mine.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Addison!" Derek exclaimed before collapsing on top of his wife. He was careful not to put too much weight on her. "You okay" he asked softly while placing kisses all over her face. Addison nodded and carefully extracted herself out underneath Derek. He moved and she turned her back to him. Derek then pulled her towards him and snuggled. Addison lay still for a while and waited for his breathing to steady, indicating he had fallen asleep. When she was assured the man beside her was deep in sleep, Addison gently took Derek's arm away from her and scooted forward, creating a considerable gap between their bodies. She couldn't believe she'd slept with him. Addison blamed it on the emotional week and the booze.

x x x

Derek woke up alone in bed but found his wife in front of her dresser getting ready for work. "Hey" he greeted and continued watching her from the bed. "I thought you got the day off?"

"I have the day off tomorrow." She replied.

"Oh. I actually don't have to work today and tomorrow. I'm planning to do something with Preston, catch a game maybe. To make up for cutting our trip short. But we could do dinner later." He said then rose up to be nearer to Addison. When he reached her, Derek wrapped his arms around Addison's waist. "How does that sound?"

Addison stiffened slightly and discreetly shrugged out of the embrace. "I'm on call tonight" she said. But in actuality, she really wasn't.

"Oh, ok. I'll stay at my place tonight. How about tomorrow? We could do something then."

"Can't. Already made plans with Miranda and Callie. Girls day out." Another lie but one she could easily set up. Addison made a mental note to talk to Callie and Miranda later.

"That's fine. We can do dinner." Derek wouldn't give up. Addison sighed and just nodded her head.

"Sure."

x x x

"You guys are off tomorrow, right?" Addison asked her two lunch companions.

Both residents nodded their confirmation.

"Good. How about we do brunch and go shopping or whatever?"

"I can't. Tucker's out of town so I've got mommy duties." Bailey said.

"That's alright. We'll baby-sit with you." Addison replied.

Callie looked up from her lunch and said, "We will?" Even Bailey looked at Addison funnily.

"I'm gonna shamelessly invite Callie and myself over, Miranda. We'll do brunch at your place and let Tuck decide what to do the rest of the day."

The two residents exchanged glances and then Bailey turned to Addison. "Is everything alright, Addison?"

Addison turned to her. "What? Yeah, everything is fine."

Callie didn't believe her. "What's up? Why are you suddenly eager to make plans?"

"I like your company and I think we need a Girls Day Out."

"Right" Bailey said, not for a second believing the redhead. She gave the other surgeon a Nazi glare. "Now, spill" she ordered.

Afraid of a Bailey stare down, Addison finally confessed. "Fine. I just don't want to spend the whole day with Derek."

"What did the fool do now?"

Addison thought of sharing what had happened last night but thought better of it. "Nothing. He's just hovering and I just wanted to take a breather."

The other women bought it and left the matter alone.

x x x

The three women did spend Sunday together. Addison and Callie came over to Bailey's house armed with the makings of brunch. The women cooked, gossiped and played with Tuck through most of the afternoon. Addison felt better, the incident with her husband temporarily forgotten. But when their Sunday get together neared its end, Addison dreaded something else. The dinner date Derek had planned.

She had purposely diverted all her calls to her voicemail because she didn't want to talk to Derek about the dinner date. Addison had run out of excuses and now she wanted to delay the inevitable.

When she got home later that afternoon, she found her answering machine blinking with a message. She pressed play and Derek's voice came out.

"Addison, it's me. I hope you got my voicemail. In any case, I'm also calling here. I'm so sorry but I can't make it to dinner tonight. I had an emergency surgery and couldn't pass off. I'll make it up to you. I'll see you tomorrow at work. Let's have breakfast together. I lo…"

Addison stopped the machine before the message could finish.

x x x

Derek felt good. Why wouldn't he? He just had breakfast with Addison and during that time had stolen a kiss or four, by his count, from his beautiful wife. Even though he had spent the night on call, the morning with his wife promised a good day ahead.

He had spent the wee hours of the morning sleeping in the on call room and emerged starving at around 8am. Derek spotted his wife leaving Richard's office and quickly whisked her off to breakfast. They ended up in a small café near the hospital and the meal was comfortable to say the least. Derek coaxed Addison in telling him about her brunch with Miranda and Callie. She seemed to be in a good mood and told Derek about the girls' day out. During the meal, Derek couldn't help himself and touched his wife at every opportunity he got.

The first kiss happened when they first saw each other that day. Addison was taken aback by Derek's presence after she left Richard's office. The kiss was a simple quick peck on the lips. Addison didn't expect it so she didn't have time to react. The two succeeding kisses were during breakfast. One on Addison's jaw line after Derek helped her in her seat and the other, another peck on the lips, when they left the café. The fourth kiss was just before Derek left his wife on the maternity floor. This one was a sweet short kiss of 'see you later'.

Derek was smiling and whistling when he entered the doctors' lounge. Burke and Bailey looked up at him with quizzical expressions on their face at his apparent good mood.

"Dr. Shepherd. You're in a good mood this fine morning." Burke remarked with a smile.

"It is a fine morning, Dr. Burke. And I am in a good mood. Terrific, in fact." Derek smilingly said. "And why wouldn't I be? I just had breakfast with my gorgeous wife and spent the weekend making to love to her so I'm a happy man. It's all good."

Burke made a face at Derek's last statement. "Shepherd, I know we've been spending a fair amount of time together, I'd even dare say, we've become friends. But please, I don't think I want to hear what you do with the other Dr. Shepherd in your private time."

Derek just sent Burke a smug smile. Bailey sat there and took in everything the neurosurgeon said.

x x x

Bailey found Addison and Callie laughing over something at the cafeteria. She joined them a moment later after getting her own lunch.

"Good to see that you're husband's good mood seems to be rubbing off on you." Bailey remarked to the still laughing Addison as she settled herself on the empty chair.

"I'm sorry. Callie and I were just laughing over a patient. What do you mean, Miranda?"

"You're other half is stalking the halls with a big grin on his face and an extra bounce in his step. He's been spewing about spending time with his gorgeous wife, making love during the weekend and stuff. I don't really want to know what you guys do in your bedroom but it would have been nice to share with your friends that things between you and McJerk are doing well."

"I didn't know things are doing that well between you two." Callie teasingly said to Addison.

Addison, on the other hand, had an incredulous look on her face. "Making love?" she muttered silently to herself. She was glad the other two women forgot about her and had their own conversation. Addison sat there thinking.

Making love? As far as she was concerned, that night was not about love. It was merely comfort and about feeling something other than sadness over dead babies. Derek seemed to be in the impression that Addison had forgiven him and things between them were okay. Granted she had been warmer towards her husband, allowing him to be near and even be kissed occasionally, it didn't mean she forgot about the past months and the slutty sex. Addison hadn't forgiven him one bit.

Derek's been feeling too comfortable right now and it was time to remind him where he stood.

* * *

_The Queen of Passive-Aggresiva is back. :)_


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks for the reviews. The next chapter has already been written so I'll post it when the reviews break the 200th mark. M'kay? ;) Come on, feed my writer's soul especially since I seem to be fighting an early on set of writer's block. Your reviews will help tremendously.

Special thanks again to Suz for the beta.

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

* * *

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

"Hi. Ready to go?" asked Derek as he came up to his wife. Addison nodded and continued writing post op notes on a chart. "Do you want to get a drink before we head home?" he asked.

"Sure." She distractedly answered, eyes still focused on the chart. "Why don't I just meet you at Joe's?" She finally said after 5 minutes.

"I don't mind waiting."

"No, go ahead. I have to pass by NICU and I don't how long I'll be. Go ahead and get us a booth."

"Okay" Derek finally agreed and kissed his wife's cheek then left. Addison gathered her charts and walked towards NICU.

x x x

Derek was nursing his second glass of scotch when Addison finally arrived. He stood up and ushered her into the seat then went to the bar to get Addison a drink. When he came back, he placed the drink in front of his wife and dropped a kiss on her head.

"Everything all right?" he asked as he settled back in his seat.

"Yeah" she answered before taking a sip.

Silence washed over them. Then Derek took a deep breath and reached for something in his pocket.

"I have something for you." He said as he extended a closed fist towards Addison. When he opened his hand, there were Addison's rings. "I meant to give them earlier but…" Derek started but he could not continue.

Addison just stared at the rings. She had almost forgotten about them, having not worn them in so long. Truthfully, she didn't mind not wearing them, given the state of her marriage.

"Here." Derek offered again.

But Addison would not take them. "I don't want them. Not yet." She said. Derek looked devastated. "Just, hold on to it for a while. Maybe keep it along with your ring."

Derek didn't say anything and Addison had a feeling that he had no idea where his ring was. Maybe he had thrown it away and if that was the case then Addison wouldn't feel bad about not wearing hers.

Silence again stretched between them.

"It was not a one night stand"

Derek whipped his head towards Addison. "What?" he asked.

"Mark. Mark was not a one night stand. I stayed with him after you left. And I fell in love with him. Then… he cheated on me."

"What?" exhaled Derek. He couldn't believe it. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Honesty. You said we need to be honest with each other. It was an affair."

Her words finally sunk in and Derek felt a surge of anger. "Do you still love him?" he asked with venom.

Addison avoided the question and fired back one of her own. "Do you still love Meredith?"

They both avoided answering and both took each other's silence as confirmation.

Finally, Derek answered. "No. I do not love Meredith." But it was too late. The little hesitation earlier was all the answer Addison needed. She shook her head in disbelief.

"Addison, listen to me. I do not love Meredith. I thought I did but I don't. I love you. And I know you. You don't love Mark. If you did, you wouldn't be here with me right now."

"You're awfully sure of yourself."

"I know you. You stay, you fight for even a sliver of something. Unless…" Now, he wasn't confident in his statement. "Unless… you don't believe in us anymore."

Addison just shrugged her shoulders and stayed silent.

"You still believe in us, Addie? Right? You wouldn't be here if you didn't"

"You asked for a chance so we're here"

"A chance? You call this a chance? We barely made any progress in our relationship. You barely acknowledge me. We don't even live together, damnit!"

"You asked for this chance. Remember, Derek, a chance just like the one you gave me?"

Derek creased his forehead in confusion. Addison just stared at him. Then suddenly, something clicked in his mind and hit him hard. The silent treatment, the shunned affections, the profession of love for someone else, the apartment. Addison was acting like the way he acted when she came to Seattle.

"The apartment… this…" he couldn't vocalize it. Addison saw the realization in Derek's eyes.

"Now, you get the picture." She said then stood up and left Derek alone.

* * *

_Kitty likes to scratch. But come on, Addison wasn't that bad or was she? ;)_


	16. Chapter 16

Wohoo!! 202 reviews. You guys just rock! Thanks so much. I love the conflicting feelings over Addison and Derek. And believe me, I felt the same way when I write the chapters. Sometimes I sympathize with Derek but I remember S2 so that went away after 5 seconds. And on the other hand, I also curse Addison for being a bitch but she's been hurt and humiliated so I understand her reaction.

Anyway, here's the next chapter. Chapter 17 won't be up until maybe mid-week. I have things to think over in regards to where to take our couple in their adventure. Thanks to Suz for the beta.

Disclaimer: GA is still not mine.

* * *

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Addison's revelation had troubled Derek throughout the night. After another round of scotch, he left Joe's and headed to his trailer. He spent the rest of the night outside thinking about the past year of his tumultuous life. How could this have happened to him? To his marriage? What had happened between him and his wife?

His thoughts plagued him well into the morning and he didn't have a clue how he got himself in the hospital dressed and ready for work. Derek was so focused on the thoughts swirling in his mind, he didn't even notice that he was alone with Meredith on the ride in the elevator.

"Hi" Meredith said in greeting.

"Hi" a startled Derek said.

"How are you, Derek?"

"I'm… okay" he said without any enthusiasm and turned his head away from her.

Meredith took in his appearance with a hint of longing in her eyes. "You don't seem okay. Is everything alright? Are things between you and Addison alright?"

"Things are fine. Listen… I wanted to ask you… When Addison…." He broke off. Derek thought about what he was about to ask Meredith. He probably shouldn't have considered asking her about his behavior when his wife arrived in Seattle. Meredith was involved in this mess he had made. "Never mind" he finally said.

"Okay." She replied, disappointed at the lost of opportunity for a conversation. "I miss you." she said after the brief silence that fell between them.

Derek sighed. "Meredith, we can't do this anymore."

"I know, I know. You're staying with your wife. And I'm… I'm dating Finn."

"That's good." Derek said sincerely. Meredith was looking for a sign of jealousy from him but she couldn't read Derek. The doors opened at his stop. "See you around, Dr. Grey." he said before leaving Meredith in the elevator.

x x x

Thankfully Derek didn't have any surgeries scheduled for the day or else he wouldn't have been a good physician. He was still troubled by Addison's revelation and had spent his time figuring out how things have come to this and what he was supposed to do now. He had avoided crossing paths with his wife because he did not know what to say to her and mostly because he did not want to see her reaction or the lack thereof to him. He cooped himself inside the doctors' lounge when he knew the chances of Addison being there were slim.

That was where Burke found him staring into space, sad and clearly lost in thought. A far cry from just the day before when he was all chipper and bursting with happiness from spending time with his wife.

"Dr. Shepherd" Burke said in acknowledgment.

Derek gave the other doctor a slight nod but his mind never strayed and he went back to staring off into space.

Burke poured himself a cup of coffee and sat on the chair opposite Derek. "Everything all right, Shepherd?" he asked.

Derek finally just shook himself out of his funk and stared at Burke. "Can I ask you something, Dr. Burke?" he said. "I mean, can I ask you something, Preston? As a friend? As someone who has been an unbiased observer since I arrived here."

"I guess. Sure. Ask away, Derek."

"How…how horrible was I when… when Addison came here? How horrible did I treat my own wife when we reunited?"

Burke sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. "Do you really want me to answer that? Remember, I'm dating your ex-girlfriend's best friend. And I like Addison more than I do you. Would you really believe what I'd say is unbiased?"

"You are a man of honor, Preston. You will answer me truthfully regardless where your loyalty lies."

"Fair enough. You want the truth, Derek? The truth is, you treated your wife so badly that even a blind man could see it. You're with your wife but your eyes follow Meredith everywhere. You call your wife names and ignore her but when Meredith calls you come running. And the worst part, Derek, Addison took it. She took everything you threw at her with remarkable poise. I don't know how you could have treated someone who clearly loves you and would do anything for you so badly. You don't do that to someone you love, to someone you care for and share your life with."

Derek bowed his head in shame at Burke's words. He respected the other man and he knew the truth in his words. He was a horrible husband.

"She's punishing me, you know? She's treating me the way I treated her when she came here." Derek shared with Burke. "And she's open about it. Confessed her intentions."

"I didn't know Addison could be so petty."

"She's not…really. Addison is rarely vindictive and I suppose I deserve this with all the crap I've put her through. I've pushed her to this point."

"She's just angry, Derek. She wants you to understand how she felt those times." Burke reasoned and Derek remained silent. "What are you going to do?"

Derek thought about it and finally answered the other man. "I'm going to wait it out. I'm going to wait until she gets all her anger out and forgive me. But I'm not going to let her push me away. I'm sticking by her."

x x x

Addison had just emerged from a long hot bath after work. Her day was manageable, helped by the fact that she wasn't confronted by Derek all day. Addison had just left him to digest her revelation last night and she dreaded the moment Derek would corner her about it. But she never saw him. Not once did their paths cross. If she hadn't heard his name paged through the PA system, Addison would have thought her husband had taken the day off and left for god knows where.

Addison almost had a heart attack when she walked out of her room to grab a water bottle in the kitchen and found Derek sitting on the couch in the darkened living room.

"You scared me" Addison exclaimed when she felt her heart rate return to normal.

"Sorry" Derek murmured then rose up and walked towards her.

"I didn't expect you to be here… not for a while."

"I know" he said, coming up in front of her. "Addie…I…I understand why you're doing this. You're angry… and you want me to feel what it was like for you… I understand. But…I'm not letting you push me away" he said. Addison just stared at him but stayed quiet. "Be angry at me, ignore me, do whatever you like but I'm not going anywhere."

Addison did not know what to say so she broke off eye contact and bowed her head.

"I'm going to wait. I'm going to wait for it to pass but I'll still be here." Derek said and kissed the top of her head softly before leaving the apartment.


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks everybody for the reviews. And special thanks as usual to Suz for the beta.

Disclaimer: GA is not mine. No infringement intended.

* * *

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

As promised, Derek remained by Addison's side, acting like a good husband. He brought her coffee, took her to lunch, watched her surgeries when his schedule allowed and generally just took time to care and pay attention to his wife. He would not be dissuaded, despite being disheartened at times, when Addison would snub his attention and just leave him hanging. Derek had to admit that it hurt to see that when Addison was with other people, Callie and Miranda for example or even Karev, she acted like the Addison he knew – funny and warm but still with an edge. Anyone that paid attention could see the difference of how Addison was treating Derek compared to other people she had contact with.

Everyone knew but no one dared to say anything and no one had spared Derek a sympathetic look. The general consensus was that McDreamy deserved the cold treatment from McWife after the humiliation he had put her through. He was the indecisive bastard who went back and forth between two women. Their pitying looks were reserved for Meredith Grey but even those were few and far in between. As far as the Seattle Grace staff was concerned, they were just there to observe and gossip about these surgeons' lives and not meddle. That and they were just terrified to be on the bad side of the She-Shepherd especially now that they have realized what a great addition to SGH she had become and how scary it would be if you cross her.

Callie and Miranda had once broached the subject of the ongoing silent battle of wills between the Shepherds but with one look from Addison, it was not discussed further. Addison just assured them that she knew what she was doing and everything would be fine. The Nazi gave her a look and sniggered as if to say that whatever the deal was between the husband and wife, it may not end up well.

x x x

"Good morning" Derek greeted his wife as he walked towards the dining table. He was carrying a couple of brochures.

Addison looked up briefly from her newspaper to acknowledge Derek. He smiled when her eyes met his but she continued reading and occasionally took sips of her coffee.

"Hey Addie… I was thinking we could take a vacation somewhere." He said, raising the brochures up to show Addison. "I have collected these from a travel agency and I browsed through the internet for resorts that I think you'll love. We could go up to Whistler or if you want, we could go somewhere warmer. Or we could go to that B&B with the big bed and the sheets? I think I found it. I printed the info and stuff. What do you think, Addie?"

"A vacation?"

"Yeah, whenever you want. I'm sure Richard will approve a few days off or even a week for us. Don't worry about him. I'll take care of that. Just let me know when you want to go and I'll take care of everything."

Addison didn't say anything but she was looking at the printed materials Derek had brought. She was skimming over The Wickaninnish Inn brochure, her fingers lightly tracing the edge of the paper while she read.

"That is one of my preferred choices. It's just off Vancouver Island and it's pretty isolated. We can really be together, do stuff or just relax and talk. Each room has a spectacular view of the Pacific. And we can go anytime…Of course, it's your choice. I'd be happy to go anywhere with you. Just the two of us."

Addison stopped reading and looked at him. They stared at each other for a moment before she broke eye contact and stood.

"I have to get to work." She said then took her cup to the kitchen sink. She was about to leave the apartment when she realized Derek was still sitting at the dining table staring at the brochures but not really reading them. A twinge of guilt ran through Addison when she saw him looking dejected. "Just…just leave them there and I'll take a look" she said, offering a small smile and then left for work.

Addison didn't see the big smile that spread across Derek's face with her simple statement.

x x x

Addison was lying down on a bed in the on call room, trying to fall asleep. It had been almost 2 weeks since her confession at Joe's and 3 days since she had looked over the travel brochures and made her choices. She was warming up to the idea of taking a vacation with Derek in the near future and even agreed on his preferred location.

Truthfully, Addison had been thinking about her husband and his actions over the past weeks that was why she couldn't fall asleep. Derek's constant attention and care had slowly made its way past the walls she had put up. The fact that he was still by her side and had become unrelenting with his actions despite knowing her intentions had made Addison believe that things just may work out between the two of them. She was so sure that he'd be running away just about now but he didn't. Addison saw glimpses of the old Derek, the one she fell in love with and married and not the McDreamy Seattle version. There may be hope for Derek Shepherd and their marriage.

Addison was startled from her thoughts when the door to the room opened and revealed the man plaguing her thoughts.

"Hey… I thought you were sleeping." He said quietly.

"Hey." She answered back softly. "I didn't know you were on call."

"I wasn't but I switched with Benson when I heard you were on call" he replied and came over to sit by the foot of her bed.

"I can't sleep." She confessed.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"What?!" she exclaimed.

"Don't get me wrong… it's just that I have something planned." Derek started. "It's Richard's birthday tomorrow."

"Yeah. And?" she asked.

"And I have no immediate patients to attend to and I think all is quiet on your floor and I was thinking of surprising Richard tomorrow."

"What? It's midnight, Derek. There isn't a place open where we could buy something for Richard around this time."

"I'm not talking about buying him anything, Addie. I was thinking… Plan B, 1997."

"What?"

"Plan B, 1997" Derek repeated with a mischievous smile on his face.

Addison rose up from her position when it dawned on her what Derek's cryptic message was about. "No way" she said, getting excited. Derek nodded at her. "But, his birthday is tomorrow. We're not prepared."

"I have all the materials we need in the car. I just need my partner in crime." Derek said as he stood and offered his hand to Addison. "What do you say?"

Addison took Derek's hand and smiled. "Lead the way, Batman."


	18. Chapter 18

Thanks guys, for the reviews. So, I have some news...maybe bad news but let's set that aside for next update...which would be sometime early next week. It depends on how much I write this weekend. :)

Anyway, special thanks, as usual, go to Suz, my wonderful beta, who wanted Happy Addek and to whom this chapter is dedicated to. Cheers!

Disclaimer: See previous chapters.

* * *

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

When Richard Webber arrived at the hospital, it seemed to be just a typical day at Seattle Grace. Over the years, Richard had maintained a low profile during this particular day and only a handful of people knew of his birthday. Those who were familiar with the date were given strict orders not to make a huge fuss about it. Richard had always been sensitive about turning a year older especially now that his hair had turned all white. It was his 53rd birthday and damn anyone who will make a big deal out of it.

As he made his way to his office, making sure his hat was securely on his head, Richard did not notice the black and white blown up picture of a baby with untamed curly hair with the phrase 'It's my birthday today. Do you know who I am?' underneath posted in one of the bulletin boards. He also failed to notice, in his elevator ride, another blown up picture. This one of a scrawny young man with a big Afro in a tight shirt and bell bottom jeans, striking a dancing pose with the phrase 'It's my birthday and I want to jiggy with you!'. Richard was oblivious to the pictures posted everywhere of him at various stages in his life.

The Chief of Surgery was walking along the bridge way towards his office when he finally noticed that every nurse and doctor he passed by was throwing him smiles and then laughing quietly when they thought he was out of earshot. He dismissed their behavior since Richard knew things at Seattle Grace had always been a tad peculiar. He was almost at his office when he saw a group of laughing nurses gathered around the bulletin board. When he came over to investigate, Richard almost had a heart attack. For posted on the board was a picture of him in his residency years wearing a toga at some costume party. The Chief quickly rushed inside his office and immediately called his secretary.

"Happy Birthday, Chief!" Patricia greeted when she entered his office.

Richard threw a distracted 'thank you' and motioned for her to come closer. "Get Dr. Shepherd in here. Right now."

"Which one?"

"Both of them!" A livid Richard nearly shouted.

"Actually, Chief, they're waiting for you on the surgical floor." She said sweetly. Addison had warned her that Richard would be in a foul mood.

When Richard reached the surgical floor, he saw most of his staff gathered around but no sign of the Shepherds. The group saw the Chief and they broke into an off beat 'Happy Birthday' with nurse Debbie coming out from a supply closet carrying a cake with a lighted '53' candle on top. The song ended and Richard was urged to blow out the candle. When he finally did so, everyone clapped and shouted their birthday greetings. Richard motioned for them to quiet down and as he was about to speak, a large tarpaulin of him dressed as 'Shaft' rolled down from its position at the ledge above the nurses' station.

Catcalls were heard throughout the floor and a couple of loud snickers from Burke and Karev made it to the Chief's ears. Richard was ready to kill the Shepherds. These prank had 'Derek and Addison' stamped all over it.

He finally saw the culprits make their way towards him after most of the staff went back to what they've been doing earlier. Burke, Callie, Bailey and her interns stayed around the vicinity, as they knew that Richard was about to blow his top evidenced by the flush on his face and everyone knew that it was the Shepherds, who were grinning from ear to ear, that would be receiving the verbal smackdown.

"Happy birthday, Richard." Addison said and quickly kissed him on the cheek. Derek said the same with a hearty clasp on the older man's shoulder.

"You two… in my office. Now." Richard said with a sour look on his face.

"Oh, come on, Richard. It's your birthday. Lighten up." Derek said.

"Lighten up? You've posted these ridiculous pictures of me all over the hospital and you tell me to lighten up? Really?" Richard said and took off his hat to wipe his forehead. "8 years. 8 years of quietly letting this day pass by in Seattle. I bring the two of you here and this is what I get. I thought you two have outgrown this…being world renowned surgeons and all. But I guess some things never change… still up to your usual tricks." He waited for any word from his two attending but Richard found them staring at his hair. Everyone seemed to be looking at his head.

"What happened to your hair?" asked Derek when he finally found his voice. Addison was still staring at the Chief's head.

"He dyed it!" exclaimed George a few feet away. His outburst earned him an elbow to the gut from Callie.

"What for?" Burke asked incredulously. Richard shot him a look and then quickly put his hat back on.

"It…it looks good, Richard. I…I like it." Addison said, fighting the urge to laugh.

"Shut up." Richard said, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous behavior his esteemed surgical team was displaying. He shot them another warning look and then took off for his office.

With Richard gone, Derek and Addison burst out laughing, leaning towards one another for support.

"They look happy" said Izzie, observing the Shepherds.

Even Cristina had to agree and turned to a pale looking Meredith who was also watching the two. "You okay, Mer? You don't look so good." Cristina remarked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Meredith said and walked away from the laughing married couple.

* * *

_See? Happy Addek. I can do Happy Addek. :)_


	19. Chapter 19

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. I said last time I have bad news and it's this: I won't be updating for a month. I'll be on vacation. Yes, again. I do have internet access during that time but I won't be bringing my security blanket of a laptop so continuing with this story would be a bit difficult.

I'll try to squeeze in another update before I leave on Saturday.

Thanks to Suz as usual for the beta.

Disclaimer: GA is not mine. No infringement intended.

* * *

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The high from their prank spilled over through the night. Derek and Addison went to a celebratory dinner with the Webbers where the two mercilessly teased Richard about his new hair. Adele defended her husband by saying that it looked good and the ladies, in particular, the lady herself loves it.

There was a moment wherein Derek was afraid the dinner with the Webbers would turn tensed when Adele remarked that it was good to go out with the two of them again just like their days in New York. She then went on to say how great it was to see the Shepherds happy and laughing together again. It was in that moment that Derek feared Addison's good mood would change and dampen the night. But to his surprise, his wife just gave the other woman a smile and a slight nod in agreement. Derek couldn't help but smile himself. When their gaze met, Addison flashed him a small smile and Derek felt his heart soar.

After their get together, the Webbers left them and the younger couple continued on with their night by walking through downtown Seattle with hands entwined. They reminisced about their antics in New York but both were careful not to bring up any unpleasant memories that may trigger a conversation about their marriage. Derek and Addison were enjoying the carefree night and didn't want to get into anything serious.

The only matter they have discussed in relation to their marriage was their vacation plans. It was Addison who started the conversation and Derek couldn't keep his smile from bursting. His wife wanted to go to their first choice – the Wick Inn – because they could do stuff together and Derek could also fish. Hearing those words from Addison gave a myriad of feelings for Derek, at the forefront of which was assurance. He was assured that his wife still believed in them and that they could work things out.

They ended the night with Derek driving Addison home but he had no intention to stay. He wasn't sure if Addison would be receptive to the idea of him staying over and Derek didn't care to find out especially with the fragile peace and common ground they have found. As he was about to leave the apartment, Derek slowly leaned over to kiss his wife goodnight. He gave her time to pull away but Addison had been welcoming so he proceeded with his action. He was rewarded when she kissed back and gave a smile after the kiss. They kissed again tenderly once more but broke away before things could go any further. Both were not sure if they were ready to take that step yet. Derek then whispered a soft 'good night' after making plans for breakfast the following morning.

Unfortunately the breakfast date didn't happen because Addison was called into the hospital for an emergency surgery. Derek was dismayed but he quickly got over it when he realized that his wife had called ahead and did not leave him hanging, waiting for the recognition that he got stood up which she would have likely done given her behavior in the past weeks. Derek was ecstatic and believed that this was the turning point in his quest to get his marriage back.

When he came in for work, Derek brought a cup of coffee for his wife and left it with a nurse near Addison's OR with instruction to give it right after her surgery. Along with the cup of java was a handwritten note:

_A-_

_Yesterday was fun. Let's do it again and show this hospital how to make Richard's head really spin._

_Your partner in crime. Always._

_D-_

x x x

Derek was leaning over the nurses' station reviewing a chart when Addison emerged from surgery. She took her position on the other side of the station, directly opposite her husband, the cup of coffee by her side, and started writing post op notes. The two kept on stealing glances at one another while doing their charts and when they caught each other's eyes, smiles would grace their lips. A silent flirtation with their eyes had commenced between the two.

Their flirtation didn't go unnoticed by the people around them especially to three of Bailey's interns who were at the same area, waiting for assignments.

"Kill me now." Cristina muttered as she watched the Shepherds.

"I think a McVomit is coming up my mouth. I'm going to be sick." George said.

"Yeah. But no sicker than Meredith, here. Hey, Mer? Are you okay" Cristina asked her pale looking friend. The intern now had a greenish tint to her skin.

"Meredith? You okay?" asked a concerned George.

Suddenly, Meredith puked on the floor. Everyone stopped and stared.

"Crap! Are you pregnant?" Cristina exclaimed loudly.

Addison froze at that statement. The smile disappeared from her face and was replaced by a stony expression.

Derek looked briefly at the interns then turned his head back to face his wife.

"Addison…" he said then quickly abandoned his charts and reached for his wife.

But Addison held her hands up and walked away.

* * *

Come on, you knew that was coming. Don't be mad. I'm not gonna leave you guys with that cliffie. I'll update before I leave. :) 


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Addison admonished herself. She was slumped on the floor of a supply closet with tears running down her face. Just when Addison had let her guard down and allowed Derek to creep back in, this happens. She was ready to take him back, let go of her resentment and work on their marriage with her husband. But the latest development was just too hard to take. Meredith pregnant with Derek's child when her own didn't survive was a horrible twist of fate.

Addison was now wondering why she didn't just push with the divorce in the first place. Why test Derek and hold out hope that their relationship would have been salvaged? Why didn't she take Savvy's offer and move back home? If she did those things then this wouldn't have matter. Sure, it would hurt but Addison believed she would have detached herself from anything related to Derek or Seattle. She would have been fine in New York, moving on with her life.

The door opened and Addison looked up to see Derek making his way in. She turned her head away and said, "Get out."

"Addison… come on. Let's talk about this." Derek replied, standing in front of her.

"I said, get out."

"Addison, let's handle this rationally. We don't have any confirmation if Meredith is really pregnant. Bailey's checking her right now."

"I don't care." Addison said, standing up and making her way out of the room. She knew she was being unreasonable. Derek stopped her by grabbing her wrists and turning her to face him.

"Even if Meredith's pregnant, it…it probably isn't mine. She's with Finn."

"Really, Derek? Can you really tell me, say it to my face, with clear certainty, that the baby might not be yours?" She said angrily. "Do you mean that even with your eagerness to have sex with Meredith during prom, being responsible entered your mind?"

Derek stayed silent.

"An adulterous lovechild" She shook her head in disbelief and made a move to leave the room. Derek held on to her tightly.

"There might not even be a baby! She might not even be pregnant!" he exclaimed. "And if…. If Meredith is indeed pregnant and it's mine, it doesn't mean I'll go back to her. The baby shouldn't affect us. I could support the baby and Meredith and still be with you."

"Are you even thinking about what you are saying, Derek? Do you think I'll just idly watch by as you have a child with another woman? A child with the woman you have replaced me with? The woman whom my husband of 11 years declared he fell in love with? Raise this child while the one I carried didn't make it?" Addison answered back, tears spilling from her eyes. "I'm not that strong and good of a person, Derek." She said then freed herself from his grasp and left the room.

x x x

Derek was standing at the foot of Meredith's bed. She was wheeled into her own room 3 hours ago after an appendectomy. He just stood there, looking at his ex-girlfriend, utterly relieved that there wasn't any pregnancy at all.

"Hi" said a groggy Meredith.

"Hi" Derek answered back. "You're going to be fine."

"It was appendicitis. I'm not pregnant."

"I know…. And I'm glad you're not pregnant. I know it sounds callous but you being pregnant with my baby would just be too complicated and I don't need that right now. Things with Addison are difficult enough… I just want to make things right with my wife and marriage…. And you just complicate it."

"I…I wouldn't even know what to do if I was pregnant. I'm just too damaged right now." Meredith said, ignoring what Derek had said about her complicating things.

"I'm sorry." Derek said. "I'm sorry for leading you on… for making you believe that we could have something. I know I said that you saved me…. And in some ways, it's true and I'm grateful for it… but what we had was just my way of not facing what happened between me and Addison. I used you, used our relationship to fill the void and mask the pain of my marriage falling apart. I was afraid to face what had happened."

Meredith remained silent.

"I love Addison… I've loved her since I was 25 years old and whatever feelings you and I had for each other would not change or surpass that. I'm just so sorry, Meredith, for dragging you into this mess. I'm really sorry."

Meredith nodded, tears trickling down her face.

"I wish you well on your recovery, Dr. Grey." Derek said then walked out of the room.

x x x

Addison didn't know what she was doing there but she just had to see the chart for herself. She just wished Meredith would not wake up and see her. But it seemed God just won't cooperate. Welcome to Addison's life.

"I'm not pregnant" said Meredith softly from the bed.

Addison looked up from the chart. "Yes, it's right here. Appendicitis" she said without any emotion.

"I should hate you, you know." Meredith said after a moment of silence. Addison fixed her a glare.

"Excuse me?"

"I should hate you but I figured I had no right. You are his wife and… he loves you."

Addison didn't say anything nor change her expression.

"I should have just been the bigger person and stayed away. I tried but… I'm sorry. I just…I fell for him. For the first time in my life, I fell in love and he turns out to be married. I'm so screwed up. You must hate me. I'm sorry."

Addison finally took pity on the younger woman. "I don't hate you, Meredith. I'm just… I'm just sorry that you got involved in this mess. I'm sorry for you but I don't think I can forgive you for prom. Not just yet." She returned the chart in its place and left the room quietly.

x x x

Derek tried talking to his wife later that day but Addison left home early. He was now in front of her apartment, knocking at the door. Derek had tried calling but she would not answer and he didn't want to leave a message either.

"Addison" he called out. "Addie, please. Let me in. I need to talk to you. I know you're in there. Please, we need to talk."

Inside, Addison sat on the couch in the darkened living room, listening to Derek call out. She sat there and listened with tears streaming down from her eyes. After a moment, Addison rose up quietly and made her way into the bedroom.

"Addison…"he called out again and leaned his forehead against the door in near desperation.

After 10 minutes of knocking and calling for her, Derek decided to just use his key. He had consciously put off using it so that Addison would not feel coerced to talk. Coming in uninvited would just make matters worse.

The key was placed in and the lock snapped back but when Derek pushed the door, the bolt Addison rarely used was in place.

Derek's last resort did not work. She had no intention of seeing him tonight.


	21. Chapter 21

_I'm back! Did you guys miss me? Or at least this story? I hope so. Okay, I'm not gonna delay the wait any longer. Here's the new chapter._

_As usual GA and it's characters belong to Shonda Rhimes. Special thanks to my wonderful beta Suz._

_On with the show…._

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Derek had tried all week to talk to his wife but Addison was ignoring him. Whenever he got the chance, she would make excuse after excuse of being busy or needing to see a patient. Or at times, Addison would just face him and bluntly say, "Now is not the time" and walk away, leaving him alone.

Derek was back to square one in his quest to make things right with his wife.

He was disappointed for the lost outcome of his efforts but Derek would not give up. He was now more determined to make Addison realize that their marriage was still worth fighting for. That his love for her was strong enough to overcome all the hurt they've put each other through. He just hoped that Addison felt the same way. Derek was sure she felt the same way the night of Richard's birthday but since Meredith's pregnancy scare, he felt Addison retreat and became doubtful again.

After getting shot down for what he thought was the 100th time that week, Derek took the opportunity to drag his wife inside a supply closet when she came out of a patient's room.

"Derek, what the hell are you doing?" said an incensed Addison.

"Listen, just listen" Derek begged. "I love you, Addison and I'm so sorry for all the shit I've put you through. I know we were making progress before the incident with Meredith last week and I know that hurt but we will get past it. We will get past every hurt we have inflicted on each other. Last week had made you apprehensive again about us but I promise you, we'll make it through. I'll still be here. I'll give you some breathing space to get over what happened but I'll still be here. I will wait for you." He placed a tender but lingering kiss on her forehead and whispered "I'll wait" before leaving Addison to digest his words.

She stood there, head bowed and a tear slipped down her face.

x x x

When Derek entered the doctors' lounge, he found his wife laughing heartily with Preston Burke. It was good to hear Addison laugh so freely but when she saw him enter, the laughter died on her lips. Burke just looked between the two Dr. Shepherds.

"Burke, Addison." Derek greeted them as he poured some coffee to his cup.

"Shepherd" Burke answered back but Addison just nodded towards her husband.

A pager's beeping noise disrupted the uncomfortable silence that fell in the room.

"It's me" said Addison, rising up. "Excuse me, Preston." She smiled at Burke before leaving the room.

"That was less… tensed" Burke remarked once Addison had left.

"Yeah, I guess. The death glares are gone and now it's the silent treatment. I guess that's progress." Derek said, taking a seat opposite Burke.

"Seriously, Derek, how is it going between the two of you?"

"Things could be better" he confessed.

"I thought you were doing quite well before… you know."

"Yeah, I thought so too. But last week had hurt Addison and made her doubt us again."

"So, what's the gameplan?"

"The gameplan is still the same. I'll give her some space, some time to get all the anger and hurt out but I'll still be here. I'll still be by her side even if she lashes out. I'm not going anywhere."

x x x

"Addison, I hope you didn't mind I got you paged. We're ready for rounds" said Miranda Bailey when she saw Addison approach.

"It's okay, Miranda. Shall we?" replied Addison as she followed Bailey and all of her interns towards a patient's room.

After the group had gathered around the patient, Bailey motioned for Karev to present. Addison looked over the patient's chart.

"This is Sara Ross, 27 years old and 36 weeks pregnant. She was referred from Mercy West after some bleeding and showing signs of placenta previa." Alex stated.

"Hello, Sara. I'm Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. I'll be taking over your case" Introduced Addison.

"They say you're one of the best and you could help me and my baby." Sara said.

"We'll do everything to take care of you and the baby, Sara. Don't worry, you're in good hands." Addison assured the patient. She faced Bailey's interns and chose George to continue. "Dr. O'Malley, would you please explain to Sara, what we need to do."

As George explained the next steps for Sara and the baby, the door to the adjoining bathroom opened and a man stepped out. He was 6'2" tall with dark hair and green eyes, wearing a white button down polo shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black jeans. The man oozed major sex appeal. Meredith, Cristina and Izzie's attention shifted away from listening to George and stared subtly at the man. Bailey didn't even acknowledge that there was another person in the room while Addison just listened to George explain and barely noticed the new addition.

"Thank you Dr. O'Malley. We'll do a round of tests first Sara and then…" Addison started but she was cut off.

"Addison?!" the mystery man said.

Addison looked up at the direction of the voice and was shocked to see the face of someone from her past.

"Nathan!" she choked out, then a smile spread slowly on her face. Nathan reciprocated with a charming one of his own.

The two just stared at each other with smiles on their faces. Bailey, Sara and the interns just looked between the two.

Bailey then cleared her throat, "Um….doctor…,"

"Oh yeah. As I was saying, Sara, we'll closely monitor you and do a round of tests then we'll go from there" a flustered Addison said, breaking eye contact with Nathan. The man now stood nearer Sara and directly opposite Addison.

"You two know each other?" Sara asked, her hand going back and forth to Nathan and Addison.

"A long time ago" answered Nathan, the smile never disappearing from his face.

"Yeah, a long time ago" echoed Addison, returning Nathan's smile. Then she looked from Sara to Nathan and realized something. Sara Ross, Nathan Ross. "Oh, congratulations!" she said sincerely but her smile dropped slightly.

"No!" exclaimed a wide eyed Nathan and shook his head. Addison had assumed the two of them were having a baby. "Sara is my sister. Remember?"

Sara, on the other hand, had her nose all wrinkled and expressed a loud "Eww…" which earned a few laughs from the doctors gathered.

"Oh…oh! Right. I'm so sorry." Addison said, her smile lifting up a bit. She and Nathan resumed their staring.

Bailey cleared her throat once again and broke the moment. "Dr. Stevens, please prepare Sara's tests." Izzie nodded in acknowledgement.

"Yes…Sara, I'll see you again when the results are back. Don't you worry." Addison said, recovering. She patted the young woman's arm and turned to face Nathan. "We'll take good care of them, Nate."

"I'm sure you will, Addie." He replied. The exchanges between the two were closely observed by the other people in the room like a good tennis match. Finally, Bailey motioned for them to get going and the doctors started to file out of the room.

"It's good to see you, Addie. I hope we'd get a chance to catch up" Nathan called out before she got out.

"Yes, we should. I'll come and find you." Addison said as she walked out the room.

Bailey and Addison, with the interns in tow, were walking back towards the nurses' station when the resident placed a light hand on her superior's arm "There were some major staring going on there. You have some explaining to do, Addison." She said under her breath.

Addison just looked at Bailey, smiled and continued walking.

* * *

_Be kind and review. But don't panic about a certain new character, okay? ;)_


	22. Chapter 22

_Hey guys! Here's another chapter. Thanks so much for all the reviews. _

_As usual, GA is not mine and thanks to Suz for the beta._

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

Miranda and Callie were waiting for Addison at their usual lunch table. The Nazi had already made hints to Callie about Nathan and Addison's strange behavior and the two couldn't wait to grill Addison for the details.

Finally, the woman in question arrived with lunch and hadn't even settled herself on her seat when Callie started her inquisition.

"So, I heard about the tall, dark and gorgeous man candy and the staring contest. Who is he, Add?" Callie eagerly asked.

"Wow, you are fast and I'm shocked Miranda. I thought you don't gossip." Addison teasingly said, her gaze shifting from Callie then to Bailey.

"Well, with the two of you staring like there weren't other people in the room and you practically forgetting how to practice medicine, tongues are sure to wag. And mine's no exception or at least not when I'm curious myself. Now, answer the question. Who is he?" Bailey demanded.

"Alright, alright." Addison agreed. "He's Nathan Ross. Dated him in college. Actually, he was my first boyfriend. He's a lot of firsts."

"Oh, wow. What happened between the two of you?" Callie asked.

"We started dating sophomore year but we've known each other since we were freshmen. We were together all throughout college but decided to break up before graduation because of our priorities. I was going to med school while he was offered a job in London, he couldn't refuse. Neither of us wanted a long distance relationship so we figured it'd be best to part ways. We remained in contact until, after a year, he met someone else. After that, our correspondence were few and far in between and then I met Derek. Once the both of us realized that we were happy with someone else, we both let go. I haven't seen or heard from him until now." Addison shared.

"You guys were pretty serious, weren't you?" Bailey asked softly.

"Pretty much." Addison answered. "Before I met Derek, I thought Nathan was the one."

Addison had a far away look on her face and her companions noticed. They have known each other well enough to know what Addison was thinking at that particular moment. Bailey decided to interrupt her musings.

"Addison, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but I hope you don't do anything stupid."

"What?" Addison asked, bewildered.

"I just wanted to point out, you're married. However messed up your relationship with your husband right now is, you need to sort it out before even thinking about what ifs or could have beens." Bailey explained.

"I'm not thinking about anything!" Addison defended herself, slightly offended at what Bailey was insinuating.

"I'm sorry if you're offended. I'm just worried about you. You're not exactly thinking straight when it comes to your husband and whatever game you two are playing" Bailey soothed.

"I know what I'm doing, Miranda. But thank you." Addison curtly said.

"Okay, guys, I'm not liking the vibes radiating so let's just drop this." Callie said after a tense moment. She looked at her friends then turned the other way and saw Nathan approaching. "Is that the guy? Damn, Addison. You sure know how to pick 'em."

The other women looked up in time for Nathan to arrive at their table, carrying a cup of coffee.

"Hello, doctors. Hi Addie. Do you ladies mind if I join you?" he asked with a charming smile.

The women, including Bailey, were mesmerized by Nathan's smile.

"Of course not" Addison answered when she recovered her motor skills. Nathan settled himself at the unoccupied chair and Addison made introductions.

They barely started small talk when the beeping noise of pagers interrupted them. The doctors reached for their respective devices. The two residents were the ones paged and immediately excused themselves to attend to their emergencies. Nathan and Addison were left at their table.

"How've you been, Addie? I thought you were in New York. What are you doing here?" Nathan began.

"I'm good. Why I'm in Seattle is a long story. How about you? Thought you've decided to stay in Europe. When did you go stateside?" Addison asked in return.

"I've been here in the West Coast about 2 years now. I'm a financial analyst in an LA firm."

"And you're here in Seattle because of Sara? What happened? And by the way, I'm still cursing myself for forgetting you have a sister named Sara and she's that sister!"

Nathan laughed. "Sara moved here with her boyfriend about 6 months ago then he left her and big brother's here to the rescue."

"You've always put your siblings first, Nate. I guess nothing had changed. Selfless Nathan to the rescue. Always." Addison said with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess."

"So, I'm assuming Europe was good for you?"

"It was great but I have my regrets" Nathan said, looking at Addison meaningfully.

"You could not decline that job, Nathan. You needed it. Your family needed it. If you didn't take it, you wouldn't have probably supported your siblings well and keep them all together. So there shouldn't be any regrets."

"I know. But I can't help but think about the 'what ifs', you know?" he answered, looking once again at Addison with such meaning. She broke eye contact and reached for her drink and Nathan noticed the tan line her rings had left. "I heard they call you Dr. Shepherd but I don't see any ring. Are you married, Addie?"

Addison took a drink before answering. "Yes. I'm married but it's complicated right now. How about you, Nate? Are you married?" she asked quickly, hoping to take the conversation away from her marriage.

"Got divorced about six years ago. Don't laugh but my ex-wife's name's Natalie." He said with another of his charming smiles.

Addison burst out laughing. "Nathan and Natalie. Nate and Nat. Didn't we have a conversation years ago about avoiding dating people with similar names?"

Nathan joined in her laughter. "I know but what can I say? I fell in love,"

While Nathan and Addison continued laughing over college memories, Derek was walking along the bridge way with Cristina jotting down his instructions.

"Order a complete MRI and then if it checks out, let's do brain mapping. The patient…" he broke off when he heard his wife's laughter. Derek stopped and looked over towards the sound. Cristina also stopped and looked.

"Who is that?" Derek said but not really asking Cristina.

"McGorgeous." Cristina said.

"Who?!" Derek exclaimed, turning to Cristina.

"Ummm…. I guess he's a friend of Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd?" the intern clarified.

Derek didn't say anything and continued observing Addison and her companion.


	23. Chapter 23

Hey All! Thanks for the reviews. Makes a girl's heart soar. :)

We're nearing the home stretch. I'm actually seeing the end of the tunnel. So, strap in folks. It's gonna get bumpy.

Disclaimer: GA is not mine. They are Shonda's.

Thanks to Suz for the beta. :)

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

"Hi!" Derek said as he approached Addison and Nathan's table. The laughter between the two old friends died slowly and they turned around to acknowledge Derek.

"I think we haven't met" he continued, offering a hand to Nathan. "Derek Shepherd, Addison's husband."

Nathan took the other man's hand for a firm shake. "Nathan Ross. I went to Harvard with Addison."

'Nathan Ross. Why does that name sound familiar?' Derek thought.

"Oh. What brings you to Seattle Grace, Nathan? I hope it's nothing serious." Derek said. Addison just watched the two men's conversation.

"I'm actually here because of my sister. She's Addie's patient." Nathan answered, giving Addison a smile.

'He's calling her Addie? Who was this guy?' The question flashed in Derek's mind.

Addison joined the conversation to explain Sara's condition. "Sara, Nathan's sister, was transferred from Mercy West. She has placenta previa but we have stopped the bleeding for now. I hope it stays that way for at least another week so we can just schedule a C and not just go in earlier than I'd like."

"I hope for the best for your sister, Nathan." Derek said sincerely.

"Thanks" the other man said in appreciation. Then an awkward silence fell over the trio,

Finally, Nathan stood up and excused himself to return to his sister's room. He shook Derek's hand again and bid the Shepherds a good day.

"You looked like you were having fun earlier. I'm sorry I interrupted." Derek began when he was left alone with Addison.

"Just catching up with an old college friend" Addison answered.

"That's good. Listen, how about I bring dinner later? What are you in the mood for? Chinese? Mexican?"

Before Addison could make up her mind if she wanted to have dinner with her husband that night or not, her pager sounded off. She read the page and stood up.

"Addie?"

"Ah… I've got to take this. It's the ER."

"Addie…" Derek started, taking hold of her hand before she left. "Dinner?"

"Umm… okay. Ah… Chinese sounds good" she answered hurriedly and distractedly, then left for the ER.

Derek stayed where he was, happy that Addison had agreed to their dinner plans. But the feeling quickly disappeared when a thought entered his mind.

'Who the hell was Nathan Ross and why does his name sound vaguely familiar?'

X X X

The mystery of who Nathan Ross was plagued Derek Shepherd through the rest of his day. It also didn't help that everywhere he turned, news of 'McGorgeous' lurking on the maternity floor and the fact that this 'McGorgeous' was not an expectant father was on every female nurse and intern's lips. Derek would have gladly listened to them if it meant he'd get more information about Nathan but it turned out that he knew one detail more than the hospital gossip mill. That Nathan was an old schoolmate of Addison's. Other than that they all had the same information.

The answer to Derek's question was just at the realm of his consciousness. He knew Addison had mentioned the guy years ago. Derek just couldn't quite grasp the memory. But he knew Nathan was someone significant. If he wasn't, Derek wouldn't have thought about it even for a second more.

It was on the line to get their Chinese take out when it dawned to Derek who exactly Nathan Ross was in Addison's life.

X X X

When Addison arrived at her apartment, she found her husband already inside setting up the table for dinner.

"Hey" Derek greeted when he saw her enter.

"Hey" she answered back, removing her coat and placing her stuff away.

"You're just in time. You want some wine with dinner?"

"Sure" she replied and took her place at the table.

Derek poured wine for the both of them and settled himself in his chair.

"How was your day?" he asked as they started to eat.

"It was okay" she answered.

This was good. Light conversation. Addison had been civil to him after Derek confronted her in the supply closet. He was here at her apartment, having dinner with his wife. They were talking. This was progress.

"I checked the Wick Inn again and I think this Spring is the best time to go. We can go whale watching and do the hot springs." Derek said, referring to their vacation plans.

Addison stopped mid chew momentarily.

Derek caught her reaction. "You… you still want to go, right, Addie?" he asked hesitantly, almost fearfully.

She swallowed her food and looked down her plate before answering. "Yes" she said softly with a small smile which she didn't show Derek.

Relief washed over Derek. Her simple confirmation spoke volumes.

They resumed eating in silence until he broke it again.

"So…about your friend, Nathan Ross?"

"What about him" Addison asked.

"His name sounded familiar and I tried to remember who he was all afternoon." He said, looking at Addison. She just looked back. "He's an ex-boyfriend. You dated him in college." There was something in his tone she couldn't quite place.

'Was that jealousy in his voice' she wondered and a part of her wished it was. Addison shook off her musing, broke eye contact and replied. "Yes, we dated in college."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he accused.

Addison looked at him incredulously. "What? When? Earlier? How'd I get that in? 'Oh by the way Derek, Nathan and I dated in college.' That's smooth. And besides, I told you about him years ago. It's not my fault you didn't remember right away."

The quiet dinner between the Shepherds tensed a bit.

"And he's here for his sister?"

"Yes. She was admitted after Mercy West referred her to Seattle Grace. He's looking out for her."

"And you haven't seen him since…" he trailed off.

"Since college graduation. What are you getting at, Derek?" Addison asked, dropping her fork with a clang. She had lost her appetite.

"Nothing. I'm just… I'm just curious, that's all." Derek said, trying to cover up the hint of jealousy, fear and accusation in his voice.

"Nothing's going on, Derek. We're just friends. Just friends." She said as she stood up and gathered her plate towards the sink.

'Just friends'. Why did that phrase bring a sinking feeling for Derek?

* * *

_My ego needs some boost so that I could write faster. How about you guys review and if I get atleast 10 for this chapter, I'll update by the end of the week? Deal? evil grin_


	24. Chapter 24

_Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews. It's so overwhelming to see that the reviews are climbing up to almost 300. Wow! And special thanks to all who have added this story (and me) to their favorites/alerts._

Disclaimer in previous chapters. As always, special thanks to Suz for her patience and for taking time to look over this story. :)

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

"So, that was your husband." Nathan stated the next day when he found Addison sitting alone at a table working on her laptop. "He's also a doctor and works here?"

Addison finally looked up from her work and acknowledged Nathan. "Yes" she replied, not really knowing where he was taking the conversation.

"How long have you guys been married?" he asked.

"11 years."

"And things are complicated?" he inquired, looking pointedly at her ringless finger.

"Complicated is one way to put it." Addison answered, feeling a bit uncomfortable discussing her marriage.

Sensing Addison's change in demeanor, Nathan ceased his inquisition. "Okay, you don't want to talk about it. But, you know I'm here if you want to talk… about anything. We used to talk about almost everything. I'm a good listener, remember?" He offered with a charming smile.

Addison smiled back but didn't say a word.

"So, have you been back to Boston lately?" Nathan asked, changing the subject.

"No, I haven't. But we did go to Cape Cod five years ago" she answered.

"Ah…the Cape" Nathan said, shaking his head as memories came flooding through his head. "Remember the summer before senior year? You chose to stay in Massachusetts and slave the summer away just like the rest of us. Daddy's girl waiting tables for the tourists."

"It was a humbling experience." She said of the memory.

"Savvy almost had a heart attack when she saw you mopping the floor" Nathan remarked and chuckled as he remembered the moment.

"Sav was just too snotty for her own good back then."

"And when we came home, my mom would fuss over you, scolding me for letting you work. Did I tell you, Mom cried when she found the envelope you left?" He paused, thinking about his late mother and how she loved Addison dearly. "That was truly selfless, Addie. Giving my family every penny you earned for the summer. It really helped, especially with Mom's medical bills."

Both went silent as they remembered Mrs. Ross who passed away during the winter of their senior year, leaving Nathan responsible for his five siblings. His mom held a special place in Addison's heart as she had lost hers at a young age and had welcomed Mrs. Ross's mothering with open arms.

Addison reached over and squeezed Nathan's arm for comfort. He turned towards her to acknowledge the gesture then shook the memory away. Nathan then went on to reminisce on another of their college adventures, eager to reconnect with Addison.

x x x

Nathan spent the following days reminiscing and reconnecting with Addison whenever she had a free moment. There were the lunches and coffee breaks but never outside the hospital. McGorgeous was spending too much time with the She-Shepherd and was being too casual and fresh about it. Everyone had noticed and as standard procedure in Seattle Grace, people started to gossip.

To quell the talk surrounding her friend, Bailey started to intervene by turning Nathan's party of two into three. And when Callie figured out Bailey's plan and her reason for doing it, she joined the action, especially when the gossip turned nasty and a pool had sprung on when Addison would turn adulterous again.

Of course, Derek heard about the gossip but chose to ignore it. He trusted Addison and believed that nothing was going on between her and Nathan. They were just two old friends catching up with one another. Derek ignored the hint of fear and jealousy when his brain reminded him that Addison and Nathan were no ordinary 'college friends'.

As far as he could see though, the two were really just catching up with one another. Derek had even joined them at times, composing himself as the confident and trusting husband before he sat down beside Addison. He noticed that whenever he did just that, his wife would get this look on her face as if Addison was expecting Derek to do something. He interpreted it as Addison getting worried that he would accuse her of something so he would just smile at her and get the conversation going.

Derek would fail to notice Addison looking defeated and disappointed when he left the table.

x x x

"What have you got, Stevens?" Addison said as she arrived running towards Sara's room. Izzie had paged her.

"Vaginal bleeding. Still waiting for the machine's read out." Izzie answered as she held on to the papers printing out.

Addison went to check on Sara, saw the blood and tried to hide the look of concern on her face.

"What's happening, Addie?" said Nathan from Sara's bedside where he was comforting his pained sister.

Addison approached Sara and placed a comforting hand on her arm. "We need to take the baby out now Sara."

"But…but you said, we should wait another week. I'm not ready….my baby's not ready."

"We cannot wait any longer, Sara. You're starting to bleed heavily. Don't worry, you and the baby will be alright." Addison said, comforting her distraught patient.

"Dr. Shepherd" Izzie interrupted quietly, trying to lower he voice as not to alert the patient. "We've got fetal distress."

"Okay" she said, nodding at the intern. "Dr. Stevens, please alert the OR for an emergency C. You're scrubbing in." Addison ordered in urgency then further instructed the nurses who were prepping Sara and left to scrub in after assuring the Ross siblings.

Addison emerged from the OR two hours later and saw Nathan at the waiting lounge with his head bent and worry emanating throughout his body. She approached him carefully and gently touched his shoulder.

"Nathan" she called out softly.

He looked up and immediately stood when he recognized her. "How are they?"

Nathan asked hurriedly.

"They're both okay. Sara had lost a lot of blood but she'll make a full recovery in no time. Baby Girl Ross looks strong and healthy. We just had to place her in NICU for at least a day and then go from there. Congratulations, Uncle Nate!"

Nathan let out the breath he was holding and sighed in relief. He then picked up Addison and swung her around in elation. They both laughed out aloud and that caused people to look at them. Nathan put her down and then engulfed her in a warm embrace before planting a big kiss on her cheek.

Everyone gaped at the display of affection and one person decided he had seen enough.

x x x

Richard Webber was looking for his head of neurology and found him reviewing charts at the doctors' lounge.

"What do you think you're doing, Shep?" Richard asked in a loud voice.

"Um… doing charts?" Derek answered back confused.

"No! I mean…. I thought you are doing everything to get your marriage back?"

"I am doing everything."

"Really? You're doing everything? Then why do I keep seeing this guy hovering over your wife?"

"You're talking about Nathan Ross? He and Addison are old friends. They're just catching up."

"Old friends? I don't look or smile at my 'friends' like that and I surely don't act touchy feely over them either."

Derek for a moment didn't know what to say but then recovered. "Nothing's going on between them. I trust Addison. They're just friends."

"Just friends, huh? Like you and Meredith were 'just friends'?" Richard sneered. He couldn't resist taking a jab at Derek. The other man looked down in shame, his stomach bottoming out.

The older man sighed. "Listen, Derek… didn't it occur to you that maybe Addison wants to see you fight for her?"

"I am fighting! I'm fighting to save my marriage" Derek argued.

"No, Derek, you're not fighting. You're just waiting. Waiting for Addison to tell you when it's okay… you're like walking on egg shells when it comes to her. You've lost your balls." Richard said bluntly. "Show her, Derek. Show her that while it is okay for her to reconnect with 'old friends', you still get jealous. Let her know how you feel. Women love that."

Derek remained silent, digesting everything the Chief was saying.

"The way I see it, Derek, this is your second chance. This is New York the second time around. You were absent back then when another guy was sniffling around but now, you're here. This is your chance."

"But I promised Addison, I'd wait" Derek said softly and in resignation as the truth in Richard's words sunk in.

"Stop waiting. It's time to fight. Lay out everything for her." Richard advised then left Derek alone to make a decision.


	25. Chapter 25

_Hey guys! Thanks again for the reviews. I know it's too late to address each reviewer individually, in fear that I may miss someone, but I really appreciate all the kind words you have thrown my way. _

_Anyway, the next chapter may be up sooner than normal but we'll see. :)_

_Disclaimer in previous chapters. Thanks to Suz for the beta. :)_

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE 

Derek had spent the remainder of his day thinking about what Richard had said. He was still thinking about it after shift ended and he had retreated back to his trailer. Derek needed some time alone to gather his thoughts.

The Chief was right. It was time to lay it all out for Addison. They needed to get over this impasse. He would lay everything out for his wife. Derek just didn't know what he would do if what he was willing to offer wouldn't be enough for Addison and her forgiveness.

But he would do it and he had to do it soon. The next night over dinner would be perfect.

Derek had hardly slept that night, thinking about exactly what to say to Addison. He had finally outlined everything he wanted to tell her at around 3am when the thoughts he was desperately trying to avoid entered his mind. 'What if Addison had really been fed up with all the hurt they both have gone through and decided she doesn't want him anymore? What if she's already convinced that there really is no hope for their marriage to work? What if she's stringing him all along just to hurt him exactly the way he had hurt her during prom?'

The last thought was the one that really bothered Derek for he did not know if their marriage would survive another betrayal. He had to stop this game, this cycle they've both been playing before it reached the point where neither one of them would be able to forgive each other or themselves.

x x x

Derek arrived at the hospital right after lunch and immediately looked for his wife. He took the morning off to do some errands for the dinner. The usually well groomed surgeon was pale and haggard looking after his uneasy night. But Derek had forsaken his appearance in the meantime and concentrated on finding his wife to secure their date.

Derek let out a sigh of relief when he found Addison in front of the surgical board, studying the schedule. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder for her attention.

"Hey" he said softly in greeting.

Addison turned to him. "Hey" she replied back just as softly. "I haven't seen you since yesterday."

"Yeah. I just…. I had some errands to run" Derek vaguely explained. He wrapped his hand on her right elbow and tugged gently. "Can… can we go somewhere private to talk?"

Addison nodded and Derek led them to an empty conference room. He turned to face her, their bodies just a few inches apart.

"What's wrong, Derek?" Addison asked when her husband failed to initiate the conversation. She noticed how pale Derek looked and concern washed over her face. "Hey, are you alright? What's wrong?" she asked, placing a gentle hand over his cheek.

Derek leaned in to her touch, soaking in the opportunity. Addison seemed to have let her guard down. "Addie… I think we need to talk." He said as he looked deeply into her eyes.

Addison understood the seriousness he was conveying. She dropped her hand from his cheek and bowed her head. "Um…. Okay" she hesitantly replied.

"Over dinner tonight. At your place." Derek said.

"Okay" she agreed, lifting her head so that their eyes could meet.

They stood there just staring at each other for a moment when out of nowhere, Derek gently pulled Addison's face towards his and kissed her.

Derek didn't care if he'd get slapped for his action but the fear that tonight might not go as he hoped urged him to kiss his wife, consequences be damned.

After a few seconds, he broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against his wife's. "See you tonight" Derek said and then quickly left Addison dazed and alone.

x x x

Now it was Addison's turn to think about the talk she would be having with Derek over dinner. She sat down on a secluded area of the hospital's coffee shop, nursed a cup of tea and succumbed to the thoughts swirling in her mind. It was clear that the husband and wife would be talking about the state of their marriage. Addison wasn't sure what Derek wanted from her and their marriage and frankly, neither did she.

Addison didn't know if she was ready to let her husband back in completely and seriously work on rebuilding their relationship. She wasn't sure if she had already forgiven Derek for the hurt she had endured during their 'trying' period and especially over prom. Addison wasn't sure if she was ready.

Living the way she was doing during the past few months after the accident, not caring about what her significant other thought and not leading life for two, was some sort of relief for her. It was a refreshing and freeing feeling especially when it stemmed out from the memories of her hurt and anger.

But it was also sad and lonely when Addison had her guard down, not minding the hurt and anger. She felt that way every time she had let her mind wander while Derek was in her sights. But the occurrence of this feeling lessened after Meredith's pregnancy scare and especially when Nathan arrived and restored their friendship. Her conversations with Nathan were a welcomed respite from this thing going on between her and Derek. Being with Nathan brought about memories of their relationship and the feelings associated with it. Compared to her relationship with Derek, theirs was definitely less volatile. In the 3 years Addison and Nathan were together, they could count on one hand the times they had an argument. Their relationship was easier and less complicated. She couldn't help but compare the two relationships.

Addison was startled from her thoughts when Nathan sat down opposite her.

"I was looking all over for you" he said.

She glanced for the time and was shocked to see that it was a quarter past 7pm. Her shift had ended and Addison had been sitting at the coffee shop for nearly 2 hours.

"I lost track of the time" she remarked and checked her pager and mobile phone for any message she may have missed. Fortunately there were none.

"I debated over having you paged but thought better of it" Nathan explained.

Addison just smiled. "So, what's up?"

He took a deep breath before speaking. "I'm flying back to LA tomorrow."

"What? But Sara and the baby are not ready yet."

"I need to fly back for work. Jason arrived earlier to take care of Sara and Sam. That's the baby's name by the way. And I hope you remember Jason, our brother. Anyway, when they're ready to go home, Jason will take them back to Boston. I'll follow eventually."

"Oh" was all she could say.

"I was hoping we could go for a drink or something. We could go to the bar across the street, if that's okay."

"Okay" Addison agreed quickly, totally forgetting about her dinner date with Derek. All she could think about was this maybe the last time she would see Nathan Ross ever again.

x x x

Derek checked the time on the clock in the kitchen. Quarter past 7pm. He got about at least 45 minutes before Addison arrived home. His wife's shift ended at 7 but knowing Addison, she would make a final round on her patients and stay to chat for a bit with them. Derek expected her to do just that especially when her patient of the week, Baby Ross, was still in the NICU.

He had already set the table and chosen the wine. The salad was chopped, tossed and ready to be served and Derek would just sear the salmon when Addison arrives. The plans he was going to show to his wife were piled neatly beside his place at the table.

Derek was ready. All he needed to make the night perfect was Addison accepting everything he was going to offer.

x x x

They had been at Joe's for a little over an hour, able to secure two stools directly at the bar. It was pretty crowded and noisy, typical of a Friday night. Addison and Nathan had to lean closer to be able to hear each other. They had been chatting idly, talking about Nathan's work and future plans.

There was a pause in their conversation when Nathan got this look on his eyes and stared at Addison.

"What?" she asked, unnerved by the stare.

Nathan smiled and reached over to swipe a hair off her face. "The past week had been wonderful, Addie. It was good to rekindle our friendship. I've missed it."

"I've missed it too" Addison echoed, a smile gracing her lips.

"I'm gonna miss you" he said tenderly.

They stared at each other for a moment and Nathan leaned his face closer to Addison's. He inched his lips closer to hers until they were inches apart.

And he waited for her to bridge the gap.

* * *

_Bring on the hate mail. Haha! ;)_


	26. Chapter 26

_So, not much hate mail but interesting comments nonetheless. :) Thanks guys!_

_I'm feeling generous so here's the next chapter._

Disclaimer in previous chapters. Thanks to Suz for the beta.

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

Derek was jiggling his legs in anticipation. He checked the time again. 8:30 pm. Addison was running late. He reached over for his phone but thought better of it. Derek didn't want to pressure her.

'She'll be here soon" he repeated to himself.

x x x

Nathan leaned his face closer to Addison's. He inched his lips closer to hers until they were inches apart. Nathan then waited for Addison to bridge the gap.

It took a split second for Addison to make a move. She leaned her face closer and looked at Nathan's lips. Addison brought her lips forward but deliberately missed Nathan's. She instead placed her lips near his ear.

"Goodbye, Nathan" she whispered, then quickly kissed his cheek, stood up and gathered her things. Addison threw one final look at Nathan Ross before exiting Joe's.

Upon arriving outside, she walked over to the corner of the building. Addison let her body lean against the wall and then unexpectedly doubled over. The reality of what would have happened if she didn't walk away from Nathan, hit her like a ton of bricks.

x x x

Miranda Bailey needed coffee. She needed a big cup and a few minutes alone before her 2nd shift started at 10pm. Bailey had about 30 minutes before rounds. She would take advantage of the momentary peace and quiet and walked quickly to the unoccupied conference room.

She opened the door and was surprised to find Addison Shepherd, staring off into space, in the darkened room.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home by now?" Bailey demanded as she turned on the lights. The attending surgeon glanced towards the resident after adjusting her eyes to the sudden brightness.

"Yeah" Addison said softly and vaguely when Bailey's question registered in her mind.

The Nazi noticed her friend's sad disposition and even spied tear streaks on her face. "Hey, you alright, girl?"

"I'm fine" the other woman quickly said, unconvincingly.

"Right. You're fine that's why you're sitting in the dark, looking all sad and weepy. You really look fine to me" Bailey said sarcastically.

Addison looked at her, eyes welling and then quickly averted her eyes. The younger doctor softened.

"What's wrong, Addison?" she asked again softly, without the usual Bailey bravado.

Addison finally broke down. "I've just been thinking… about my life, about Derek… my marriage."

"And?"

"And…" she trailed off. "I almost did something stupid, Miranda,"

"Stupid? What are you talking about?"

Addison just gave her a look.

"Oh, no. Tell me you didn't, Addison. Tell me you didn't do anything with Nathan."

"I almost kissed him… but I stopped. I left him."

Bailey let out a sigh of relief. "That's good. You didn't fall into temptation" she said, placing a comforting hand on Addison's.

"I'm just tired" Addison said.

"Tired? Tired of what?" Bailey asked. Her friend was being incoherent.

Before Addison could answer, her mobile phone, which was on the table along with her pager, rang. When she didn't make a move to answer after the fifth ring, Bailey motioned to it.

"Aren't you going to answer that?"

"It's Derek. He has been calling for the past 30 minutes. We were supposed to meet for dinner" she said matter of fact but still did not answer the phone.

The ringing stopped after a few seconds and the two women sat there in silence.

After 3 minutes, the phone started ringing again. Addison reached for it and held it for a few seconds, staring at the display, before pushing the end button. She rose up, placed her pager and phone in her bag and flashed Bailey a smile.

"Good night, Miranda. I'll see you tomorrow."

She left Bailey staring after her.

x x x

Derek dialed Addison's number again and waited. And as with his previous calls, all he got was her voicemail. This time, he opted to leave another message, his third in the last hour.

"Addison…Addie, please. Please call me when you get this. I just need to know you're okay. The dinner doesn't matter. I just need to know that you're safe and well. Please."

Derek ended his message and placed his phone back on the table. He hunched over and buried his face in his hands.

'Where was she?'

He stood up and went to search for his keys. Derek made up his mind and decided to look for her himself. He was putting his wallet and phone in his pockets when the door to the apartment opened and Addison stepped in.

Derek stared at her and placed the items in his hands back at their original position on the mantle. Addison stared back. She broke eye contact then turned to close the door and placed her bag and coat down.

She walked over to her husband, stood a few feet in front of him and looked at his blue eyes.

Silence stretched between them for a moment before Addison took a deep breath and spoke.

"I'm tired, Derek."

* * *

_I'm so evil, aren't I? ;)_


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: GA and its characters are not mine. They are Shonda Rhimes.

Thanks to Suz and my bff Bee for their comments, support, and editing prowess.

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

"I'm tired, Derek."

Derek felt fear slowly grip him, clenching his heart.

"What…what do you mean?" he stammered out.

"I'm tired" Addison repeated. Heaving in a big breath, she continued. "I'm so tired of hurting, tired of being angry. I want this to end."

Derek's head swam when he heard the word 'end'. He felt his stomach bottom out and made a move to reach for Addison, a protest forming on his lips.

But Addison held up her hands to stop him.

"It's time to end this, Derek. It's time to end this vicious cycle we've been going around. It's time to stop the lies, the revenge. The hurt we've inflicted, the anger we've been holding on to."

The tears pooling in Addison's eyes started to make their way down her cheeks.

"I'm done, Derek. I'm done hurting you back."

Derek choked out the sob he was holding and grasped Addison's face in his hands. He joined their foreheads together while she held on to his wrists, tears spilling from both of their eyes.

"The past three months had been hell for me, for both of us. And I'm ashamed to admit that I really wanted to hurt you the way you've hurt me. I needed to. I needed to hurt you so that I would feel vindicated. I was angry, so angry. I hope you understand…. No. I know you understand why."

"I do, Addie. I do."

"But you have to know, Derek, I was also hurting myself when I hurt you" Addison confessed, her breath hitching from the tears.

"Shh…" Derek said soothingly, one hand leaving her face to draw comforting circles on her back. "I know. And I'm so sorry. For everything."

Addison nodded her head. "I know" she said as she drew her husband closer to her for a real embrace, their heads resting on each other's shoulders.

"I'm not afraid anymore. I'm ready. I'm ready to rebuild with you." Addison said into his neck. Derek tightened his hold on her, tears leaking out of his eyes.

"I'm sorry for the dinner" she said after a few moments of silence in their embrace.

"It doesn't matter."

"I have to tell you something" Addison began, lifting her head from his shoulder and faced him. "I was with Nathan earlier… when we were supposed to be having dinner."

Addison felt Derek stiffen and saw a change in his eyes but neither released their hold on each other.

"We were saying goodbye. He's going back to LA tomorrow." She felt the tension leave his body. "Spending the past few days with Nathan made me realize some things."

Derek looked at her questioningly, the now familiar sensation of fear once again creeping in his heart.

"Being with him made me understand in a way what you found appealing in being with Meredith. The ease of being with someone without the problems we were dealing with. Indulging in the escape they represent."

Addison broke off their embrace and took two steps back from Derek. The fear inside of him increased.

"But the difference, Derek, is that I didn't let myself be carried away this time."

There was no accusation in her voice but Derek felt the guilt course through his body.

"Addison, I'm so, so sorry about Meredith. About prom. I should have ended things with her the moment we decided to try. I'm so sorry." He apologized again.

Addison digested his words and bowed her head. "He wanted me, Derek. And… and we almost kissed tonight."

Derek felt his heart clench and his breath knocked out from him.

Addison looked up to meet his gaze. "But I stopped him and left."

Relief washed over Derek in waves.

"Because even with all the hurt we have inflicted and the anger we have harbored for each other, no matter how much each betrayal destroyed us, it is still you. It is still you I want to kiss. It is still you I want to make love to. It is still you I want to end the night with and the first one to see each morning. It is still you I want to share my life with. It is still you I love and will love for always."

Hearing those words coming directly from his wife brought a burst of emotions to Derek and prompted him to grab the back of her head for a passionate kiss. Addison welcomed his mouth with equal fervor, wrapping her arms around him.

They opened their mouths to each other and when air became an issue, Addison broke the kiss. But Derek only needed a few seconds to gulp air and turned his attention to her neck, where he kissed and sucked. He trailed his mouth up her jaw line towards her ear and whispered a tender 'I love you' before capturing an earlobe.

Addison titled her head back to give Derek better access and let out a soft moan. She slid her hands down and grasped his butt to pull him closer. He took off his lips from her neck and found hers for a deep and probing kiss.

Somehow they made it to Addison's room without breaking their kissing. And somehow they made it to the room barefoot with their tops untucked. Addison led them towards the bed and as the back of Derek's legs touched their destination, her blouse had found its way to the floor.

She pushed him and Derek fell back then braced himself on his arms, feet staying firmly on the floor. Addison hiked up her skirt and straddled his lap.

"You're severely over dressed, Doctor" she smilingly said and then raked her nails on his chest.

"What are you going to do about it then?" he asked with a smile of his own.

"This" she replied and then slowly undid his shirt, popping each button teasingly and seductively slow.

Derek closed his eyes as his wife's hands roamed his chest. He felt the fabric of his shirt open up and then heard Addison's gasp.

He opened his eyes just in time to see and feel her fingers trace the objects he kept close to his heart – their rings, dangling from a chain around his neck.

"You kept it" she said solemnly, her eyes never drifting away from them, especially to the one in the middle. His wedding ring was nestled between her two rings.

"I…I thought you got rid of it." Addison said, fingering his ring. "Where was it?"

"I kept it between the pages of 'Catcher in the Rye'" he answered softly.

The significance of that action brought a fresh batch of tears to Addison's eyes. The book was a gift from Derek's dad when he was a kid. A hard to find first edition that Derek treasured and took great care of since childhood. It was one of the few possessions Addison knew Derek took with him when he left New York. And the one item that made her realize that her husband wouldn't be coming back.

Tears spilled down her cheeks and he gently wiped them away. After composing herself, Addison took a deep breath and extended her left hand towards Derek. She was ready to take her rings back.

Derek quickly unclasped the chain and took the rings out. He gently slipped her rings back to her finger and then kissed them, uttering a heartfelt 'I'm sorry'.

In turn, he held out his left hand and offered Addison his ring in his right. Without hesitation, Addison took the ring and slipped it back on.

And just like what he did earlier, she held on to his hand and kissed the ring.

"I'm sorry, too. For everything" she whispered through the kiss.

Derek tenderly placed his hands on her face and pulled Addison for a kiss. This time, their kisses were slow, devoid of the urgency earlier but still passionate. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue past her lips to tangle with hers.

They took off the rest of their clothes slowly, every skin exposed kissed lovingly. Derek gently laid his wife on the bed and carefully settled his body over hers. They were not holding back but took their time to explore each other thoroughly, neither one complaining about the drawn out anticipation. And their pleasure only intensified with the feeling of just being together freely and comfortably without any of their insecurities and doubts weighing them down.

For the first time in a long time, Derek and Addison were perfectly attuned to each other physically and emotionally.

x x x

Derek and Addison were facing each other, snuggling as close as possible and basking quietly in the afterglow of their love making. They were playing with each other's fingers. Both have been fighting off sleep for the past 20 minutes and were now finally losing the battle.

Derek was already half asleep when Addison's voice pulled him away from slumber.

"Can we really get past it? Past everything?" she asked timidly.

"We're already past it" he answered with conviction, grasping her hand and placing it over his heart.

They closed their eyes and then a moment later, Addison spoke again.

"I love you, Derek"

"I love you, Addison"

And they both succumbed to sleep with smiles on their faces.

* * *

_Oh yeah... I'm not yet done... or maybe you don't want more? Mmm... Anyway, I'm contemplating on raising the rating. So the next time you check for an update, TVC might be on the M section. M'kay:)_


	28. Chapter 28

_Hey All! Here's another chapter for you guys. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Aren't you tired of this yet? ;) I'm thinking another chapter after this one to tie things up. :)_

_Oh, yeah, notice the ratings change. Not too graphic but a precaution nonetheless. This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful beta Suz who has been asking for me to write some squee for the longest time. She corrupted me, what can I say? Just kidding, Suz! ;)_

_As usual, GA and its characters are not mine._

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

When Derek shifted in his sleep two hours later and reached for Addison, he found her side of the bed empty and the bedside lamp lit. He quickly sat up and listened for any movement that may indicate where his wife could be. After a moment of silence, Derek swung his feet out of the bed, the sheets pooling at his waist and glanced around for his boxers.

When the door opened quietly to reveal Addison sneaking in carefully with a bowl in one hand and a water bottle tucked under an arm, Derek ceased his action.

"Hey" Addison said when she looked up and saw Derek awake. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No. I turned around and noticed you were gone. I was going out to look for you."

"I got hungry" she replied, lifting up the bowl.

Addison, wearing his dress shirt, walked over towards Derek and stood between his legs. She took a bite of her food and then scooped some for Derek.

"Mmmm… vanilla ice cream with corn flakes" he said, accepting her offer.

"Great post coital food" she said smiling. Derek smiled back and slipped his hand on the back of her thighs. His caresses went higher and he found more skin. Addison was not wearing anything under the shirt. He accepted another spoonful of ice cream and then pulled her tighter towards him, urging her to straddle his lap.

Addison did so and continued feeding the both of them.

"So, are you gonna tell me what those papers on the dining table are about?" she asked, placing another spoonful against Derek's lips.

"Ah…those were my presentation materials."

"Presentation materials?"

"Yup. Remember, we were supposed to talk, right?"

"Yeah" Addison replied, a twinge of guilt surfacing in her eyes.

"Hey, none of that" Derek reprimanded softly when he saw the change in her eyes. He brought up a hand to caress her cheek. "As I was saying those were my presentation materials. I had this whole speech planned on how I was sorry and how I am committed to you. How serious I am that I want our marriage back and I'm not letting you go."

"I believe you" she said, kissing his lips tenderly.

"But you haven't heard what I have to say,"

"It doesn't matter. I believe you."

She kissed him again and he deepened it when she started to pull away.

"Anyway," Derek continued after their kiss. "I had someone quickly look over our land and draw a rough draft of our house."

"Our house?" she asked with a dreamy smile.

"Yeah, our house. It's time to put that land to good use. I also brought some architectural magazines so we could go over what we really want our house to look like."

"That's so sweet."

"I also got some listings from a real estate agent in case you didn't want to live on the land. I think there's a house available in Bailey's area and one near Richard's."

"No need. I want to live there. It was the trailer I had an issue with."

Derek laughed. "Still want to blow it up?"

"You betcha" Addison replied with a smile as she scrapped the remains of her ice cream and then licked off the spoon. "Did you want some more?" she asked when she noticed Derek looking at her.

"Yeah, I want some more. But not ice cream" he said and then captured her lips.

Addison moaned into the kiss as Derek's hands snuck up under the shirt to palm her breasts. He broke the kiss and latched his mouth on her neck. She stretched out and placed the bowl in her hand on the bedside table. Her hands combed through his hair once she was freed of the china. Derek continued his attention on her neck, alternating between sucking and biting kisses, as his hands grabbed the shirt and ripped it apart.

She shrugged out of the garment and then grabbed Derek's hair up to pull him for an open mouthed kiss. Their tongues dueled for dominance while their hands groped each other's flesh. Derek broke the kiss then trailed his lips and tongue on her clavicle, going lower towards her breasts inch by inch. Addison gripped his shoulders to anchor her as she leaned back to give Derek more skin to explore. She gasped aloud when his mouth encased her nipple.

Addison was enjoying the sweet torture Derek's tongue and lips were doing to her breast. But after a few minutes of him grazing his teeth over her nipples, alternating between the two, and smoothing it with his tongue, she couldn't take it anymore and needed to kiss her husband desperately. She grabbed his head away from her chest and forcefully shoved her tongue in his waiting mouth.

As they kissed and sucked, Derek's hand made its way between their bodies. When it reached its desired destination, he stroked softly causing Addison to jerk away a little. They continued kissing as he slipped two fingers inside her while his thumb grazed her nub. He increased the pressure of his fingers and Addison gasped aloud at the sensation. When Derek could feel Addison almost reaching her peak, he took away his hand. A ready protest was making its way on her lips but before she could let it out, he covered her mouth with his.

Determined to get her release, Addison lifted her body up and yanked the sheets covering Derek's waist. His hard muscle sprang up, glad to be out of its confines and she gently lowered herself onto him. He filled her up to the brink and she let her internal muscles squeeze him.

"Addison" he hissed out in a voice filled with pain and pleasure.

Addison just smiled and kissed the pulse point on his neck. She released him then lifted her hips again and sunk back down slowly, taking him an inch at a time. She continued this lazy rhythm while Derek tried in vain to change the pace.

"Please, Addie…" he begged, after a minute of her languid movement.

She took pity on him and increased her pace while placing biting kisses on his neck and chin.

"You started it" Addison whispered heatedly before taking an earlobe between her teeth.

Derek's patience ran out as he was still not satisfied at the pace they were going. And as Addison lifted her hips once again, he took the opportunity to grab her by the back of her thighs and flipped them over.

Her yelp at their sudden change in position turned into a long and loud moan as Derek plunged into her hard and deep. He raised her right leg almost at his shoulder and shifted his angle slightly to hit her g-spot.

"Oh God, Derek!"

Their movements turned frantic and their breathing labored. It wasn't long until they both reached their peaks simultaneously. They both shouted out each other's name as waves of pleasure hit them. Derek collapsed against Addison and he rolled them both to their sides.

After getting their heartbeats back to their normal pattern, Derek brushed a few wet strands of hair away from his wife's face.

"Now, I want some ice cream" he said with a smile.

Addison laughed and Derek joined her a moment later.

x x x

"This… this will make us late" Addison said as Derek lazily placed kisses all over her face, their bodies intertwined under the steady flow of the shower.

"Then we'll be late" Derek reasoned and kissed her square on the lips.

"We can't. We already took the morning off."

"They'll understand."

She sighed and they continued kissing.

"We have patients to see" she tried again half heartedly.

"There are other capable doctors that can handle them."

"True. But not as good as us."

"True."

They continued their lazy kissing.

"Richard will look for us and will be pissed when he finds us missing."

"I don't care."

More kisses.

"We'll catch hell from Miranda."

Derek slowly lifted his head and lips away from his wife. He looked at her and contemplated what she had said.

"We don't want that" she added.

"No, we don't" he agreed with a shake of his head.

"So, we better get a move on."

"Yeah, we better." He said in a disappointed and resigned voice.

x x x

They arrived at the hospital just in time for their afternoon shifts and had appropriated an elevator to themselves. Being alone inside the elevator was not their fault as every SGH staff steered clear and opted not to get on when they saw the Shepherds inside. The couple was not really doing anything inappropriate but everyone knew not to be caught in between the Shepherds regardless of the situation.

But the two didn't notice that nobody wanted to get on the elevator with them as they were too preoccupied at staying as close as possible, content at staring into each other's eyes. There were occasional soft and short kisses but nothing that would ignite their passion and land them in a compromising position.

They were enjoying their blissful alone time until the doors opened and Miranda Bailey stepped inside.

"Put your hands up where I can see them. Both of you!" she ordered at the intertwined couple in the corner.

Addison turned her body to face her friend and leaned back into Derek's chest. His arms still encircled around her.

"Hello, Miranda" she said in greeting.

Derek, whose head was nestled at the crook of his wife's neck, smiled to the Nazi and uttered "Good afternoon, Dr. Bailey."

"You two are scaring the staff. Stop it" Bailey replied to the couple's friendly greetings.

The Shepherds just smiled, their happiness coming off in waves.

The elevator arrived on Derek's floor and he begrudgingly exited but dragged his wife by the doors. He kissed Addison and kissed until the doors started to close but did not fully as Derek was standing in between.

"Hey McDreamy! How about you get your lips off of your wife's so we could go on with our day? Some of us are here to work, you know" Bailey said in her Nazi voice.

"You better go" Addison said against his lips. "You're pissing her off" she added lowly through a smile.

"Okay" he replied back, a smile on his lips. "I'll see you later"

They kissed once more and finally Derek stepped back.

"I take it things went well last night." Bailey stated as the doors closed and the elevator started to move again.

"Yes, it did."

"So, you guys are back together. Together as in 'Derek and Addison', happily married successful surgeons who are too damn beautiful for their own good?"

Addison had to smile at Bailey's description but her mind raced about being 'Derek and Addison'. 'Are they 'Derek and Addison' again?' Maybe. But with the scars they have endured, going back to being New York Derek and Addison is impossible.

"Yes, we are back together. But being our pre-affairs selves would be hard" she answered truthfully. "But we'll be okay. We're rebuilding. We are…we are healing."

'Healing… yes, that's the right word.' Addison thought.

"We are healing" she said again with conviction and a smile.


	29. Epilogue

Hey all! Thanks for the wonderful feedback. After four months, more than 37,000 words across 100 pages, this fic is finally done! Yay! 

Sorry, there wouldn't be a sequel but I have a surprise for you guys in the end.

Anyway, on to the update...

Disclaimer in previous chapters. Special thanks to Suz for the beta.

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CHAPTER TWENTY NINE (EPILOGUE)

The truth was, their healing, the one that required a no holds barred discussion of everything that had unraveled in their marriage and its aftermath, didn't begin that fateful night. That was just scratching the surface, a superficial cut through their defenses that prohibited them to open up about their issues. The real healing began five weeks after that night.

They wanted seclusion and peace so they decided to get everything out during their week long vacation in Vancouver Island. They had wanted to do it right away but Derek, who volunteered to be the one to ask for their time off, had trouble convincing the Chief to let them go. Richard reasoned that the hospital could not afford to lose both of them, even for just a week, given the amount of cases pouring in. When none of Derek's attempts nor Addison's charm and friendly persuasion worked on their boss, the Shepherds changed tactics.

Derek and Addison orchestrated fake arguments that would end on a make out session in the middle of the surgical floor or when they'd get carried away, which happened most of the time, end up in a locked on call room. This went on for about almost a month, occurring mostly when the Chief or Debbie was in their vicinity.

But Richard was on to the Shepherds' shenanigans and only threw them a stern glare whenever they acted in front of him. There were a handful of times though that the Chief suspected that the Shepherds' arguments were real, when Derek would rake his fingers into his hair in frustration or when Addison's eyes would water a bit during the fight. Richard would be certain that the spat was real when after they both have ran out of steam, their faces would soften considerably. There was bound to be disagreements between the two. After all, they are Derek and Addison and fighting was a major part of their lives.

The Chief finally relented after a month when a major blow up between the married couple had resulted in getting Callie Torres, who was sleeping at the on call room after a non stop triple shift, unceremoniously booted out of the room. The cranky ortho resident had voiced out to Richard what everyone was dying to say – to do something about the Shepherds so that they could all work in peace.

Being uncertain if the argument was real or not, Richard heeded his staff's request and bravely entered the on call room. He knocked once and had even closed his eyes in fear of getting an eyeful of exposed body parts he could live without seeing before entering. To his relief though, Derek and Addison were sitting side by side on the bed, their backs to the wall and their legs stretched out. They were sharing a chocolate bar with mischievous smiles on their faces which meant that they knew it was just a matter of time until Richard comes in and offer a proposal to their demand.

"You win. One week off starting next Monday but no more of this staged arguments on my floor. Are we clear?" Richard said, conceding, and then quickly left.

Derek and Addison smiled knowingly and continued eating their chocolate.

x x x

After Derek and Addison settled themselves at the Wickanninish Inn, they wasted no time getting down to business. It was Addison who went first and talked about the night of her affair with Mark. She described how sad she was, how fed up she was about Derek's absence and indifference. Of how her self doubt and insecurities had overcome her and how Mark's constant presence had eased those feelings and consequently led her to seek comfort from the other man that night. Addison expressed how disgusted she felt when the realization of what she had done hit her and the remorse that followed, which she would forever carry.

She confessed to him that after he had walked out, she stayed at the bottom of the stairs and waited for him to come back. Addison didn't move from her spot for the rest of the night and most of the next day until Savannah came and took care of her. She recalled that for three days she stayed locked at Savvy's guestroom, crying and calling his phone. She finally returned to the brownstone only to find a few of his belongings gone and no signs of Derek ever coming back. After a week of no communication whatsoever with her husband and only Savvy, Weiss and Mark to keep her afloat, Addison had convinced herself that her marriage was truly over and blindly moved in with Mark. She had stayed with him with the belief that she hadn't thrown away her marriage for a fling of nearly two months until Richard's phone call awoke her from her trance.

Throughout her painful recollection of that horrible night, Derek kept a firm hold of Addison's hands. He only let go of their hands' embrace just enough for them to wipe the tears that kept flowing from their eyes. And when she had finished with her part, he didn't miss a beat to continue on with his.

Derek recalled what he felt upon seeing her with Mark, how the anger and hurt overcame him when he left. He drove around aimlessly after leaving their brownstone that night and ended up in the driveway of his childhood home. He left soon after making a decision to run away from New York and dropped by their brownstone long enough to get a few possessions. Derek didn't know where he wanted to go and Seattle just popped into his mind when he remembered Richard Webber.

He told Addison about the night when he met Meredith in a bar. Derek, angry at his wife and about the way his life had turned, drunkenly flirted with the young blonde and ended up sleeping with her. He confessed that being with Meredith made him forget about New York and Addison so he continued to see her despite the inappropriateness of the situation.

They talked about their feelings and reactions once Addison arrived in Seattle. Of how scared and tentative she felt being in his presence but grateful nonetheless. He confessed his anger at her arrival because it disrupted the peace he had found. And with a heavy heart, Derek honestly said that most of the time he was doing things to deliberately hurt her.

They ended their talk there but didn't retreat into themselves and fester in the hurt and anger of the past. Derek and Addison sought each other for comfort and reassurance. They slept the night away with tears in their eyes but their bodies nestled against each other.

It was Derek who started their heart to heart the next day with the account of his thoughts and feelings the night of her accident. He recalled his guilt about prom, his anger at himself for his stupidity and most of all the fear he felt of losing her all together. Then, he told her about his soul searching every night he sat by her side, about finding an explanation but in the end never really getting nor understanding why he had become indifferent to his wife but he assured her it was never about her or anything she did. He recounted all his realizations in those nights by her side and the promise he had made to make it all up to her.

That was what the Shepherds had done the first two days at the Wick Inn. Discussed every thought and feeling about what happened to their marriage and its aftermath – including the loss of their child. They barely touched on the subject though but promised that when they were both ready, they would discuss the matter of children at length.

The whole duration of their talk was filled with opportunities for angry and bitter words that would, in the past, end in a huge fight or of one of them walking out but not once did it happen. There were tears and heartaches but there was also recognition of their mistakes and most importantly absolution for them.

And when the tears had dried, their hearts mended with acceptance and forgiveness, Derek and Addison sealed their rebuilding with promises of learning from their mistakes and never again taking each other for granted. They ended their emotional "healing" with a tender night of love making reminiscent of their first night together.

They stayed in the Inn for 5 more days, taking advantage of their time together. They treated their stay as a second honeymoon – enjoying the Inn's facilities and activities in the day and spent the nights making love.

They returned to Seattle with renewed spirits and a deeper connection with each other. The people at the hospital, who barely knew the Shepherds at their marital best, had noticed the glow between the two and remarked how good it was to see them that way. Richard, who had known them the longest, had even said that this was better than their best in New York.

x x x

The true test on their new and improved relationship came 4 months after their healing in the form of a one week medical conference for Addison in New York. She saw this as an opportunity to settle things in their past lives, to bury past demons really, and had suggested to Derek to accompany her. But after seeing the hesitation in his eyes, she did not push the issue further, accepting the fact that her husband might not be ready and to just wait for that time.

She didn't have to wait long though. 2 days after leaving Seattle, Derek followed her to New York.

They stayed at the brownstone, soaking in the memories – good and bad. There was hesitation upon entering their old bedroom but was instantly gone when Derek took her hand and led her to the bed where they held each other through the night. They didn't dwell on that horrible night but instead focused on happy memories.

With Addison busy at the conference, Derek took charge of settling their affairs. He made arrangement for the sale of the brownstone and decided to just put the house in the Hamptons up for lease. He spent the day packing items and mementos that would fit nicely in their home, currently in construction, in Seattle.

Addison skipped the last day of the conference and they decided to stay in the city for 2 more days to see friends and family. They even ventured bravely to their old hospital, fully aware that by doing so, they were courting a possible disaster. Throughout their visit, they never missed an opportunity for contact – her arm around his waist or his hand on her back but mostly their hands entwined. And when the inevitable came – encountering Mark Sloan – both stood their ground. They never felt the urge to walk away from the situation.

The three former close friends just stood there, holding gazes across the hallway. They never said a word or broke eye contact until Derek gave a slight nod of acknowledgement and turned away, slightly tugging on his wife. Addison, in turn, gave a small smile before following her husband. Mark stared after them until the Shepherds were out of sight and turned the other way with a smile on his face.

x x x

Derek and Addison's lives had finally found its balance and contentment. 2 months after their trip to New York, they moved into their new house which was a fusion of the sophistication of Manhattan and the laid back sense of Seattle. Just like what they have done with their marriage, the construction of their house was founded in working together and of compromises. In a way, their house was the physical manifestation of what they have gone through to rebuild.

But of course, their marriage, just like anything in the world, was not perfect by all means. There were arguments still but nothing that would lead to sleepless nights or cold, silent moments. They knew not to let their anger and hurt simmer for long as both were terrified of repeating past mistakes. Derek and Addison were aware of the terrible consequences and never lost sight of the fact. They wouldn't dare go through those 3 years of heartache ever again.

Extending their family was what all they really need to make their life a little more complete. And when 8 months had passed since that night Addison went home and ended the vicious cycle they were going through, they deemed themselves ready for that next stage.

It was time to start a new cycle in life.

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_Did you guys notice, I didn't put a 'The End'? That's right folks! It's not done yet. :) Because you guys just rock with the reviews, I've something extra. Check back tomorrow for the final ending. :)_


	30. Bonus Epilogue

Since all of you have been such nice readers and reviewers, here's a little something to show my thanks... ;)

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_1 YEAR LATER_

Derek Shepherd had been at Joe's for quite sometime watching the woman at the bar. By his count, the guy standing by her side trying to buy her a drink was the second brave soul in the last 10 minutes. And just like the other guy, this one was turned down.

He shook his head and chuckled in amusement. Intrigued by the woman, Derek finished his drink and stood up to walk over to where she was.

He flashed the woman a smile before taking the empty seat next to her.

"Hey" he said in greeting.

"Hey" she replied.

"Been here long?" he asked, making conversation.

"A few minutes. I'm waiting for someone."

Derek nodded in acknowledgement.

A bark of laughter caught their attention. The two guys that offered to buy her a drink stood by the pool table with a bunch of friends. One of them motioned towards their direction, probably making up a story to cover their bruised ego on getting turned down or making fun at the new guy who was taking the same chance.

The woman just smirked and Derek caught it. They let out a small laugh of understanding.

He motioned for a drink and then turned to the woman to ask if she would like a refill.

But before the words could come out of his mouth, the woman interrupted him.

"Look, I'm sure you've witnessed the fate of the other two guys. Why do you think this would be any different? I appreciate the offer but I'm waiting for my husband and I don't think he'll like it very much when random guys buy me drinks" she said, loud enough for a few people, including the scorned guys, to look at their direction. She wouldn't get any offers any time soon. The edge in her voice made sure of it.

But Derek wasn't taken back by the woman's let down. "Third time's the charm?" he said with a charming smile. "I was just being a gentleman and was going to ask if you would like a refill." He turned his head away and settled himself more comfortably in his seat.

"Besides, I'm married too." He added loudly and proudly, putting up his left hand and wiggling his ring finger for effect.

The woman smiled. "Okay. I guess you are harmless. Another ginger ale then."

"Bartender, another ginger ale for the lady, please" he called out.

They took a sip of their drinks once it arrived.

"Ginger ale, huh? Interesting choice, especially in a bar. Do you know that ginger ale curbs morning sickness?" Derek said.

"Really? Where did you learn that?"

"From my beautiful wife. She's an OB. Brilliant doctor. Plus, I'm a doctor too."

"Uhuh" the woman replied, unimpressed.

"The name's Derek by the way. Derek Shepherd" he said, extending a hand.

The woman warily took his hand in hers and then a smile slowly crept in her face.

"Shepherd, huh? That's funny. I'm a Shepherd too. Mrs. Shepherd, that is."

"Mrs. Shepherd?" he asked incredulously, a matching smile on his face.

"Doctor actually. Doctor Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd." The smiles on their faces turned into big grins, ending their playful charade. "But tonight, I'm going with Mrs. Shepherd. It keeps unwanted attention away and besides, I like the sound of it."

"Me too" he agreed and then kissed her.

They kissed tenderly for a few moments and Addison pulled away slowly.

"Hi" she said.

"Hi back" he replied, brushing his nose against hers for an Eskimo kiss. "Sorry, I'm late."

"It's okay."

They sat there holding each other gazes.

"I love you" he said softly and kissed her again.

"I love you, too" she responded after the kiss.

Then, Derek bent down and kissed her tummy, "And I love you."

**THE END**

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_So that's the conclusion of This Vicious Cycle. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank e__ach and everyone of you who read the story and especially to those who took a few minutes off their time to give feedback. Each review is very much appreciated._

_It made my writer's heart warm and fuzzy to know that you guys really cared for the fic. That I made you feel for the characters. But since I can't make everyone happy, I apologize to those people who were disappointed with the story's turn of events at one point or another. And it's okay that you hate it or whatever, I respect that, although it's quite disheartening at times and takes me in a don't-want-to-write-anymore funk. But I know I can't please everyone… which is why I've decided not to write anymore… I'm kidding, of course. Haha!_

_TVC wasn't really designed to be fluffy and all that jazz so maybe one day I'll make it up to you guys. ;)_

_Cheers!!_


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